score:3
here I can answer as a sporter ;)
Your problem is twofold:
To address 1. you can do stretching, common gymnastics stretching: Guide to basic stretching. Yoga is also a good option but I consider common stretching more to the point (and you will need that for yoga too, anyway).
For 2. there is no easy answer: You need to strengthen your core. Please note that for many Japanese, Koreans and Indians the lotus position is easy because they use to sit on the ground, this has a huge impact on the core muscles: Our western chairs hold our backs and void us from using too much force for sitting, making that our cores are less strong, specially a large amount of small muscles...
There are two basic exercises that you can do for that: the plank and the bridge: 10 core workouts
For both, the core exercises and the stretches you can start holding them for 20 seconds, build up to 30 seconds and then up to 1 min and 1:30, there is a maximum of 90 seconds (1:30) above which there is no effect. I fact the proper stretching reflex of the muscles is triggered after 20-30 seconds after which they elongate.
Other things that you may do are:
So, here's my grain of salt. I'm not a Buddhist, mind you, I practised Zen a lot of years ago, but I recall zazen being very painful to hold while now I can sit comfortably in the lotus position or seiza (the real one, as in Kendo).
Upvote:4
Yoga is very helpful, especially aspects that deal with opening the hips and stretching the legs. It is best not to force it or you could hurt the body. A cushion or zafu under the tail bone and buttocks can elevate the body sufficiently so crosslegged is more comfortable. Some people sit Japanese style with legs folded under sitting on your heels and or supported by a zafu. Sitting in a chair with a straight back and feet on the ground is a valid method of meditating. The position will open up and be comfortable over years as the practice opens up the locked up sections of the body.
Here is a youtube video that especially works on opening for beginners. Adrienne has many yoga videos. She seems like a meditator as she encourages mindfulness expecially in 2nd video. She is conservatively dressed and friendly in her approach. I find her a helpful teacher that does not provide unneeded distractions.
20 minutes complete beginners - very doable sequence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7AYKMP6rOE
40 minute longer more meditative from the preview. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ6NfFIr2jw&list=PLqkIhuaKSFbuaG3i9cBpO7E0dAKnd-MAu
Accepting where you are is important. You are right where you need to be. You are opening in a very natural way. Namaste.