Transferring merit to someone living who isnt open minded to receiving it
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According to Buddhist teaching, you can transfer merits only to the departed relatives living in the Peta realm. You can't transfer merits to a living human.
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It was once said that...
If you were to go along the north bank of the Ganges giving and sacrificing and encouraging others to do the same, no merit comes of that, and no outcome of merit. --SN42.13
A more effective approach to merit is given in AN5.45:
When a mendicant enters and remains in a limitless immersion of heart while using a robe … alms-food … lodging … bed and chair … medicines and supplies for the sick, the overflowing of merit for the donor is limitless … These are the five kinds of overflowing merit, overflowing goodness. They nurture happiness, and are conducive to heaven, ripening in happiness, and leading to heaven. They lead to what is likable, desirable, agreeable, to welfare and happiness.
Merit flows as gifts are used towards progress along the Noble Eightfold Path.
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