Is it helpful, how is it possible, to deal with anger by 'accepting' it with equanimity?
Upvote:10
In Buddhism, there are many methods to deal with anger.
The method of accepting anger is a method of 'non-conflict'. By fully acknowledging & accepting anger in an open way, you can develop some objectivity towards & independence from the anger (in that it will not control your behaviour) and, importantly, give anger the space to subside.
The method I personally prefer & the method most used by the Buddha before his enlightenment was to wisely reflect (think about) the harm & dangers of anger; in how anger can harm yourself & harm others.
If you are often habitually & uncontrollably angry:
(1) You feel bad about yourself (afterwards).
(2) You become tense & can harm the health of your body & mind.
(3) People may dislike, fear or avoid you.
(4) Important relationships can be harmed, broken & lost.
(5) You can lose your job (employment) & develop a bad reputation.
The scriptures state:
As I abided...a thought of ill will (anger) arose in me. I understood thus: ‘This thought of anger has arisen in me. This leads to my own affliction (harm), to others’ affliction and to the affliction of both; it obstructs wisdom, causes difficulties (vexation) and leads away from peace.‘ When I considered thus…it subsided in me. Whenever a thought of anger arose in me, I abandoned it, removed it, did away with it.
Just as in the last month of the rainy season, in the autumn, when the crops thicken, a cowherd would guard his cows by constantly tapping and poking them on this side and that with a stick to check and curb them. Why is that? Because he sees that he could be flogged, imprisoned, fined or blamed if he let them stray into the crops. So too I saw in unwholesome states danger, degradation and defilement...
If you use the wise reflection method, it is important to focus on the anger rather than on 'yourself'. You must think: "This anger is harmful" (rather than "I am harmful").
The Buddha did not teach the 'self' or 'I' is the ultimate cause of problems & suffering. The Buddha taught 'ignorance' or 'not-knowing' is the ultimate cause of problems.
Therefore, we think/reflect: "Anger is bad & harmful" (and not "I am bad & harmful").
More post
- 📝 Sleep and meditation
- 📝 Disenchanted with Buddhism
- 📝 Where's the story in which the Buddha praised a non-returner for keeping the knowledge of his attainment private?
- 📝 is buddhism outside the idealism and materialism?
- 📝 The Animal Plane & Evolution?
- 📝 Panic arising in meditation
- 📝 Difference between Pacceka Buddha and Arahant?
- 📝 Are Buddhists against abortion?
- 📝 What are the major sects of Buddhism?
- 📝 How close is English to Pali?
- 📝 Body scanning feels a little stressful
- 📝 The Buddha and the Gods realm
- 📝 Can Mahayana and Theravada learn from eachother?
- 📝 How is Osho seen in the Buddhist community?
- 📝 Choose option in suffering?
- 📝 Is procastinating lengthen the samsara?
- 📝 How is samsara nirvana?
- 📝 Emptiness of emptiness
- 📝 Does a sexual union with one's body incarnation of an opposite sex count as a misconduct?
- 📝 Namarupa as 'mentality & materiality', why or why not?
- 📝 When is a wordly consequence a karmic retribution?
- 📝 Reasons against practicing insight meditation as a main (sitting) practice for medical or other recondite-subject majoring students?
- 📝 are mundane acts of compassion meaningful?
- 📝 Can all human beings potentially be enlightened in this lifetime?
- 📝 Are there detailed Buddhist teachings on/about energy (viriya)?
- 📝 On Suffering and Happiness
- 📝 If there is no "I", who or what is controlling my animalistic urges?
- 📝 About the Upasakasila Sutta and LGBT
- 📝 What is MN 116 ( paccekabuddha sutta) about?
- 📝 Is there a way to help us remember our previous life?
Source: stackoverflow.com
Search Posts
Related post
- 📝 Is it helpful, how is it possible, to deal with anger by 'accepting' it with equanimity?
- 📝 How to deal with people and handle rude language?
- 📝 How to deal with bad past karma that makes my current life miserable?
- 📝 How to deal with body pain during meditation?
- 📝 As per buddism, how is it possible to leave behind my obsession with drugs?
- 📝 How do I deal with Buddhist teaching's complexity?
- 📝 How to deal with criticism?
- 📝 How to deal with suffering and losing faith?
- 📝 How to deal with immense guilt over past acts of cruelty? Is sincere repentance and striving really enough?
- 📝 How to deal with our aversions & judgements?
- 📝 Where are the Eight Worldly Winds and how to deal with them described?
- 📝 How to deal with sore hips during sitting?
- 📝 How did Buddha deal with people that were sexually attracted to him?
- 📝 How to deal with being ignored?
- 📝 How to deal with obstacles (with Sutta reference)
- 📝 Health anxiety - how to deal with it?
- 📝 How do I deal with Aversion?
- 📝 How should Buddhists deal with Loneliness
- 📝 How to deal with people and colleagues who are angry, complaining or seeking attention?
- 📝 How to deal with mediocrity
- 📝 How to deal with loved ones who don't support you?
- 📝 Suttas which explain how to deal with unwholesome habits
- 📝 How does teaching of Buddhism deal with waste? How does teaching of Buddhism deal with acceptance even it causes unhappiness?
- 📝 How to deal with insults?
- 📝 How to deal with distractions during meditation?
- 📝 How to deal with fixation towards an old relationship?
- 📝 How does Buddhism deal with failure?
- 📝 How to deal with people giving reviews to the teaching?
- 📝 How to deal with ADHD and OCD like symptoms causing issues during meditation?
- 📝 How to deal with post meditation frustration?