How anger is developed?
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Don't hate people because everything happen to you happened because of your actions in Sansara. So whenever you get angry because of people just think that I have done a similar action in Sansara and this is why I am being treated like this and determine to not to do that similar thing again in Sansara. Always be mindful of anger. whenever anger is starting to build up think about the above fact. To improve mindfulness practice Anapansathi meditation regularly. To control anger practice Mythri meditation regularly.
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I understand your pain and I can feel it. You are suffering because things aren't going the way you know them to be right. Everybody has that feeling sometime. It's common and at times I feel just like you. You don't mean to hurt - neither yourself nor the other, but you are feeling hurt and I am sorry for that. It will get better. Let the anger go.
Let anger get through you, like a wind that passes through your being. If you offer resistance, it will be the cause of more anger.
Anger is a way of saying that you have certain idea how you expect other people to behave. And if they don't, anger wells up, because your own ideas are violated. There is a limit as to how much you can control other people, but you can always control yourself and how you react to other people.
Leave them the benefit of the doubt. We're all human, we're all trying to survive and maybe the other person's way isn't your way, there is nothing you can do against it and anger will only hurt you, but refusing to accept that there are limits to your own control.
In other words: Forgive them, nothing annoys them so much. Be kind to them, they are hurting too.
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By not fighting anger ,and if you accept that anger is a possibility ,there is every possibility you will witness it when it arises.
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Generally speaking anger can be the result of any/all of the three root kleshas. They are:
- not knowing the full reason for our anger (moha)
- holding on too hard to something (raga)
- lacking compassion for others (dvesha)
Mindfulness can help easing the first two kleshas, by investigating the cause for your anger, and to examine whether your anger is caused because someone/something is getting in the way of your attachment.
Mindfulness can also help you identify any hindrances to develop understanding or non-attachment.
Lastly, metta bhavana meditation can also help in easing your anger, by developing warmth towards others (the opposite of anger, essentially), and by seeing the others side of things. It may be helpful to both you and your surrounding, and can contribute to a more objective or balanced outlook on things.
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