Upvote:1
My question is if I go back to Italy for a while waiting for the uk visa to be accepted is it likely I will be refused entry or will that only happen if they check all the stamps on my passport?
There are no Schengen-wide records of entries and exits at the moment but if you always went through Italian airports, it's entirely possible that border guards would see your travel history upon scanning your passport. If you did not enter through Italy during your previous trip, it seems less likely that they would notice without examining the stamps but there is always the possibility that something (your demeanor, the stuff you carry) will prompt them to do that. Do note that you would be staying illegally either way and expose yourself to some sanctions (from a fine up to a multi-year ban, depending on how long you decide to stay).
Upvote:3
You may want to ask the prefecture or a properly accredited immigration lawyer about a family cohesion (coesione familiare) residence permit in Italy.
By way of derogation from the regular entry visa requirements, family members of legal residents in Italy, who entered and are staying Italian territory by regular and legal means, may apply for a residence permit without prior authorization, assuming all requirements are met (minimum financial resources, health insurance, Italian translations of documents etc.; the exact requirements will depend on the region, so you should ask ahead).
This should be definitely possible if you have even one day left on your Schengen allowance. Exceptionally, the conversion can be made even within one year after your legal stay expired. If you really exhausted all allowed days in the Schengen area, it probably won't be a problem if the immigration official does not check your passport closely and let you enter Italy. But if by whatever reason the official checks, you may be denied entry and have to declare such denial when e.g. going to the USA or Canada. This is a risk that you will have to decide about.
Once the application is submitted, you are allowed to stay legally until the decision.
The proper legal course when having exhausted allowance in Schengen is for your spouse to apply for an approval letter of family reunification (ricongiungimento familiare, not cohesion) and then for you to apply for an entry visa at the Italian respresentation in the UK, but this may take one month at least.