Absolution for daughter

Upvote:1

Very sorry for your loss, my brother died without getting his last rites too, so I know it can be hard for some family members and I think what is being asked for here isn't exactly what is needed at this moment. Absolution would be what your daughter would receive after making a confession while she was alive.

If it was her intention to go to confession, you may take comfort in the fact that:

How can a person in mortal sin regain the state of grace before receiving the sacrament of Penance? A person in mortal sin can regain the state of grace before receiving the sacrament of Penance by making an act of perfect contrition with the sincere purpose of going to confession

Baltimore Catechism 403

Here are some prayers to say when gathered around the body of your daughter. Not all of them strictly require the presence of a Catholic priest.

Upvote:2

The Rites of the Church do include prayers for the dead. It's not possible actually to absolve sins after death, but the dead are effectively helped by the prayers of the living. Prayers may be said by anyone; a priest or a deacon may also sprinkle the body with holy water.

A Catholic priest will certainly have access to prayers to use, and Peter has linked in his answer to those commended by the US Bishops' Conference, which are readily available online. The published rite does include a prayer asking for forgiveness of sin (and thisβ€”and many other prayersβ€”may be prayed by anyone):

Lord Jesus, our Redeemer,
you willingly gave yourself up to death
so that all people might be saved
and pass from death into a new life.
Listen to our prayers,
look with favour on your people
who mourn and pray for their sister N.
Lord Jesus, holy and compassionate:
forgive N. her sins.
By dying you opened the gates of life
for those who believe in you:
do not let our sister be parted from you,
but by your glorious power
give her light, joy, and peace in heaven
where you live for ever and ever.

"Absolution of the Dead" used to occur in the funeral Mass, but it has been reduced to silence in the modern rite. That title is a little misleading.

Silence

  1. All pray in silence.

Signs of farewell

  1. The coffin may now be sprinkled with holy water and incensed, or this may take place during or after the song of farewell. If the body was sprinkled with holy water during the rite of reception at the beginning of Mass, the sprinkling is ordinarily omitted in the rite of final commendation.

However, that ceremony used to be far more elaborate and include more extensive prayers praying for absolution, along the lines of the modern prayer quoted above. If the rite includes censing and sprinkling, it must be performed by a priest, but there seems no reason that the prayers themselves may not be prayed by anyone.

The current Order for Funerals in the Personal Ordinariates within the Catholic Church includes the following in place of the silence quoted above:

Absolution at the Bier

The Priest and ministers stand at the head of the deceased.

The sorrow of death compassed me
and the pains of hell came about me.

Kyrie eleison.
Christe eleison.
Kyrie eleison.

Enter not into judgment with thy servant, O Lord, for in thy sight shall no man living be justified, except thou grant unto him remission of all his sins. Therefore, we beseech thee, let not the sentence of thy judgment fall upon him, whom the faithful prayer of Christian people commendeth unto thee: but by the succour of thy grace let him, who, while he lived, was sealed with the sign of the Holy Trinity, be found worthy to escape the avenging judgment. Through Christ our Lord.

The Sprinkling and the Censing

This responsory may be used as the Priest goes round the bier, sprinkling with holy water, and incensing the body.

Deliver me, O Lord, * from eternal death in that fearful day: * when the heavens and the earth shall be shaken; when thou shalt come again to judge the world by fire.

Deliver me, O Lord, from eternal death in that fearful day: when the heavens and the earth shall be shaken; when thou shalt come again to judge the world by fire.

O that day, that day of wrath, of calamity, and misery, a great and exceeding bitter day:
when you shalt come again to judge the world by fire.

Rest eternal grant unto them O Lord: and let light perpetual shine upon them.
Deliver me, O Lord, from eternal death in that fearful day: when the heavens and the earth shall be shaken; when thou shalt come again to judge the world by fire.

The Sarum Use from which that ceremony is derived included two more censings of the body, between the prayer "Enter not..." and the Libera me ("Deliver me, O Lord."). The priest walked around the coffin, censing it, during the responsories; and then said the prayers at the head of the coffin. These were included in a draft order of service considered for the Ordinariates, although omitted in the final publication.

First Censing

Thou who didst raise Lazarus from the stinking tomb,A grant them rest, O Lord, and a habitation of mercy.
Thou who didst raise Lazarus from the stinking tomb, grant them rest, O Lord, and a habitation of mercy.

When thou shalt come to judge the quick and the dead, and the world by fire;
grant them rest, O Lord, and a habitation of mercy.

Kyrie eleison.
Christe eleison.
Kyrie eleison.

O God to whom all live, to whom our bodies when they die do not perish but are transformed, we humbly beseech thee that, whatever ill thy servant committed which was contrary to thy will, through the devil’s deceit and his own iniquity and weakness, thou that art loving and merciful may in thy mercy wash away, and command that his soul be borne up by the hands of thy holy angels, to be brought into the bosom of thy patriarchs, Abraham thy friend, Isaac thy chosen one, and Jacob thy beloved, where sorrow, sadness, and sighing flee away, and the souls of thy faithful rejoice in felicity, and at the Last Day of great judgment grant that his soul receive its portion among thy saints and thine elect in the perpetual glory which no eye hath seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived but which thou hast prepared for those that love thee. Through Christ our Lord.

Second Censing

Alas for me, O Lord, who have sinned in my life; poor and wretched that I am, what can I do? Where can I flee if not to thee my God? Have mercy upon me when thou shalt come again on the Last Day.
Alas for me, O Lord, who have sinned in my life; poor and wretched that I am, what can I do? Where can I flee if not to thee my God? Have mercy upon me when thou shalt come again on the Last Day.

My soul is very sorrowful, but thou, O Lord, wilt make haste to help me
when thou shalt come again on the Last Day.

We beseech thee, O Lord, have mercy upon thy departed servant, that he, who in his intentions adhered to thy will, may not receive the reward of his deeds in punishment: in thy mercy grant him, whose lively faith joined him to the company of thy faithful, fellowship with the choirs of angels.

A I think this translation of Qui Lazarum resuscitasti a monumento fetidum, while poetic and literal, is rather unfortunate. Lazarus' grave was only thought to have "a bad odour" [Jn 11:39], but in fact there's no other reference to it at all. Foul might be better, but the rhythm requires two syllables. This may have contributed to the omission of these extra censings.

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