Feelings and kamma and sankhara , am I bound for the rest of my life

Yes and yes, meaning both, householder,

experiencing feelings is result of past actions, tendencies to react as well and so the present actions are also reason of not wisely react on being touched by feelings.

The way to escape from acting further unwise on it is the Noble Eightfold Path.

What ever feelings arise, sometimes already skilled to see the cause and uproot it easy, will not endure, so the best is to learn to be patient and develop goodwill of those new "guests" arising.

Try to watch them arising will simply go on and do what you have to do. Try to give much attention on your breath, in and out, adjusting it in a way that you can easier go on. Get them knowing via your breath, meaning that the more you know your breath, the more this breath will introduce you to them. It confronting them direct in usual ways, nothing but conflicts would arise.

Doing so while observing the precepts firm in all you are doing will give soon more space to be no more that much so strongly determined by past actions and accumulated tendencies and more and more practical free will on skills is gained. Once knowing the "guests" from old times better and your relations to them, it will be much easier no more give much into them, no more that much a matter of what is regarded as the own.

It's much better to get things understood by doing on field as to intellectualize things, for that would not make the job to do and better understanding wouldn't be attained. When they would come in other ways, with other clothes, your ideas about them would not be fit enough to understand of what happens right now.

So the possible new resolve, volition, to get on it practical and skilled is the sankhara good to hold on, the development of the path.

Maybe another simile as support for it at the end here:

In the Shape of a Circle

(Note that this gift of Dhamma is not dedicated for trade, exchange, stacks or entertainment but as a means to make merits toward release from this wheel)

Are my painful feelings, that I feel now, result of my past kamma

I think kamma is especially useful as an explanation of the present-and-future ... more so than of the past-and-present.

So "the present is the result of my past kamma" is less obviously helpful to me than, "present kamma -- i.e. present 'intentional action' -- affects the future".

Or is it something I am generating by doing something with free will in the present moment, that I am still not aware of that I can stop?

I found that a clear description of what causes "pain" are the four noble truths -- so pain or dukkha might be associated with some kind of "craving".

And there are many kinds of craving -- wanting to have things, wanting to keep things, having an idea about how things ought to be that isn't the way they are.

Another way to view that might be as "thinking too much" or as "inappropriate attention" -- I think the doctrine says, though, that the perception of something as being emotionally painful is a result of one's reaction to it and is not inherent in the thing itself.

Samana Johann's answer for example suggests you remain mindful of the breath instead, a practice called Anapanasati.

Because it seems like I have no way chance against painful feelings and they are controlling me

Buddhism might say that there isn't a "me". Sometimes there are pained feelings, sometimes there are non-pained feelings, in neither case is there a "me" which they're controlling. We might think there's a "me" but that "view" of "me" is likely just another clinging-to-an-idea of how-things-ought-to-be and therefore just another source of unhappiness (when the temporary present doesn't match the non-real ideal).

I read that Sankhara are subconscious tendencies. Is that the same as my feelings that keep me trapped?

There are a lot of different words in Buddhism. Some of them have broad meanings (more than one meaning), and of course different words are related.

The most thorough explanation of "sankhara" that I know is, Can anyone explain Sanskara / Sankara indepth?

Whereas "feelings" are one of the "five aggregates" i.e. skandhas.

Feelings (i.e. vedana) also appear in the description of the 12 nidanas.

And the word for "painfulness" might be dukkha.

Another word for "underlying tendency" might be anusaya.

The sense of feeling trapped might be a result of identifying -- "I" am trapped -- which is the subject of several doctrines and several practices (including a practice of generosity, considering others, and "taking refuge").

Past Sankhara creates the current contact hence the current feeling.

Any reaction to current Sankhara creates future Sankhara which shapes your future experience.

To stop creating future experiences one should stop reacting to current experiences. One cannot escape current experiences as this is based on past experiences.

An untrained mind reacts to experiences. If this is the case you are controlled by past karma. Breaking out of this is by not reacting and not creating Sankhara. Best way to do this is taking a Vipassana course:

• http://www.dhamma.org/en/index
• http://www.internationalmeditationcentre.org/global/index.html

Subconscious mental reaction to experiences create Sankhara.

You are trapped in the cycle in Sansara as long as you are reactive to experiences. If you train your mind through Vipassana and is unreactive then you can break out of the Sansara and future karmic experiences.

Focus on the here and now - your current moment is no trap but choices you make.

If you are depressed, you are trapped in your memories.

If you are anxiety, you are trapped in the future.

You are NOT supposed to control your feelings, because your feelings are nothing but a result of external circumstances, which you can never really control; instead, you are supposed to observe your feelings, observe the causes of your emotions, and understand the fact that all external circumstances are naturally...impermanent.