How to not to attach to the vinaya?
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In simple words, Vinaya is defined to help to the people who follow the Path to the Nivana. As I've heard, there were Lord Buddha's time (early Lord Buddhas before the Gauthama Lord Buddha) where the vinaya was not defined, because it was not a need.
Anyway since it's defined in this Lord Buddha's (Gauthama) time, it's good to follow. But if you understand the core thing in Buddhism as advised by Buddha, what we need to do to attain Nivana is to -> Stop ruining the mind with Ragha, Dvesha and Moha. Therefore if you do this, if you get ruined your mind with these while trying to control others who are not following Vinaya, think twice.
And the other thing to think about is, what's the purpose of worrying others, it's good to help others or showing the way, or sharing you experience (on Nivana), but if you conflicts with them, you earn bad Karma, because you've ruined your mind, which causes you to delay your journey to Nivana.
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We can derive some clues about how to deal with kukkuca, if we look at its characteristics:
- It is a mental factor (cetasika)
- It is one of the five hindrances (nivarana) during meditation
- It is originating from aversion (dosa)
https://www.wisdomlib.org/definition/kukkucca
Seeing as it is considered a cetasika, we can try to still it during meditation, and proceed to investigate them mindfully as with any mental factor.
And what is lack of food for the arising of unarisen restlessness & anxiety, or for the growth & increase of restlessness & anxiety once it has arisen? There is stillness of awareness. To foster appropriate attention to that: This is lack of food for the arising of unarisen restlessness & anxiety, or for the growth & increase of restlessness & anxiety once it has arisen.
The fact that it is based in aversion, means that we can dilute the karmic effect of the aversion by practicing metta bhavana, not least towards those who struggle with the precepts/vinayas.
And what is lack of food for the arising of unarisen ill will, or for the growth & increase of ill will once it has arisen? There is awareness-release [through goodwill, compassion, empathetic joy, or equanimity]. To foster appropriate attention to that: This is lack of food for the arising of unarisen ill will, or for the growth & increase of ill will once it has arisen.
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The vinaya is more of a guideline than a book of commandments. You undertake to 'observe' the precepts/vinaya. While you are proceeding with day to day activities you might by accident 'break' a precept. One should not scold himself but instead, mindfully recall what went wrong and how the specific precept was broken.
After that you should be mindful to not cause the same mistake again as you would not break the certain precept in the same way. But you might break the precept, in another way, which again you must inspect mindfully like I said before. This way you will ultimately be able to observe all precepts without breaking them.
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