Upvote:0
You are having aversion towards formal sitting and that is something to work on in mindfulness practice. Start to note this aversion more often, don't ignore it as you have to transform it into eagerness and diligence.
It is the desire of only pleasant experience of meditation that you are most likely developing and that is to be let go of.
It (from experience) is also subconsciously rooted fear of unpleasant meditation session experiences and negative outcome of a session. That too is state of clinging to. It is something that meditation and especially Insight of meditation is designed to work with by concentrating on unpleasant sensations, pain, and hinderances such as desires, aversions and restlessness.
There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Buddhism and Eightfold path is focused on alleviating suffering, how else can you train yourself to deliver this knowledge if not from letting go of unpleasant, miserable feelings? Let dukkha in, acknowledge it, and then let it out.
I would advise on seated meditation 20 minutes in the morning after waking up and 20 minutes in the evening for the first 6 months or until you are fully comfortable with it. You can then start increasing it by small increments.
Upvote:1
I am inner heat practitioner and I have had the same difficulties as you!
I could not understand the importance of why should I take the lotus posture when I am way more comfortable sitting in a chair or even laying in the ground. Know that my type of Yoga works with internal energies and posture is very important!
Milarepa used a belt:
Milarepa can often be seen depicted in paintings with round white earrings along with a bright red meditation belt, extending from the right shoulder to the waist on the left side, used to hold the body in particular and sometimes difficult to perfect yoga postures.
Practice after practice I started to see some changes,the more I became proficient the more the more I started to give importance to posture,energy alignment,breath length and relaxation.
Soon enough(6 months) I found staying in the lotus posture for hours without moving at all,totally relaxed and emerged into the fire!
I hope that this helps you understand that relaxation is the key in the posture position and I would encourage you to find that relaxation stop,still as a mountain!
Upvote:3
As per my teacher, this happens when we train ourselves to hate meditation. We do that by turning meditation into torture and punishment.
Instead, meditation should be something natural and (yes) pleasant.
-- 1) diminish the time of sessions?
Yes. You can start from something as short as 30 seconds. Do not ramp up too fast, only ramp up when you really WANT to sit more.
-- 2) change my meditation type?
Yes. Do not weigh your emotional mind with any notion of the correct target state. Do not blame yourself for not conforming to some ideal style, posture, or state of mind. Allow your meditation to be a natural discovery process that it is. Like a child playing a game, completely natural and spontaneous.
-- 3) change the consistency of my meditations?
Yes. Better meditate regularly, twice a day, 30 seconds each time - than randomly for an hour.
-- 4) apply something else?
Yes. Make it pleasant for your emotional mind. Beautiful setting, nice scenery, little visual noise in your peripheral field, comfortable pants, etc.