Do Buddhists need affection, physical touch or intimacy?
score:4
Marriage does not guarantee happiness (some married people are unhappy). This answer includes advice about how to choose a marriage partner.
And chapter 6 of A Happy Married Life (which is titled "Security, Respect and Responsibilities") identifies what attitudes and behaviour are recommended by Buddhist doctrine/scripture, between husband and wife. There may also be affection between e.g. a mother and her children.
I don't think it's affection that's identified as the principal problem in Buddhism: the problems are craving (e.g. for what you don't have), and attachment. So for example if you craved more affection than you think you're getting, you will "suffer" (and, I think, cause suffering too). Also, a characteristic of sensual pleasure (and of other "compounded" or "conditioned" things) is that it's impermanent. So for example "physical touch" cannot be a permanent (even if continual it couldn't be continuous), and so people must learn (or must also learn) to live, to behave, to control or regulate themselves without it. And I think that attachment is likely to cause the survivor problems when their partner dies, etc.
For these kinds of reasons, the pursuit of sensory pleasures may be unwise or unsatisfying.
As for "living without affection" there are attitudes which I think are recommended by Buddhism and which are like affection (perhaps these are affection, or perhaps they're a good substitute for or alternative to affection), for example kindness, benevolence, harmlessness, even equanimity.
As for the title ("Do Buddhists need...?"), I'm inclined to read that as "Do Humans need...?". I'm not sure whether to say that all humans are the same, and have the same needs. Perhaps they do, but have different capacities or abilities to deal with those needs. There's a field of Western psychology (which I'm not familiar with) called Attachment theory, which has theories such as how secure people feel depends on things like how they were treated and how they developed when they were infants: as well as how they developed (how they were developed, and how they developed themselves) as children and so on into adult life. Maybe people's needs, or how "needy" they are, varies according.
Upvote:2
Buddhist generally show kindness. Living in solitude is encouraged to practice detachment and other Buddhist teachings.
A need is a personal preference. A Buddhist may choose to entertain affection at the risk of losing his "sila"
Upvote:2
Very interesting question that you asked. The short answer to it is “yes!”. Buddhists who are well grounded in Dhamma do have intimacy. They have friendship, companionship and intimacy with the good, because of their abstinence from excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures, abstinence from drunkenness, and non- indulgence in gambling.
The five precepts… specially the third... Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami - “I undertake the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct.” Is a safeguard for us from such.
The five precepts as we know and practice is the worldly right view and worldly right conception. The distinction made in the discourse between worldly right view and the right view that is above the world (supre-mundane) is that, in the case of the latter, this means **Complete Abstinence, expressed by the use of these three more terms - aarati virati and pativirati. Such abstinence applies to right action and right livelihood as well.
One who takes the five precepts with an aim of walking the Noble Eightfold Path, towards attaining Path-Fruition aim for the aarati, virati, pativirati level of abstinence.
Upvote:2
Buddhists come under 4 groups: monks, nuns, laymen, laywomen.
Monks and nuns are not allowed to engage in any romantic or sexual activity. They are not even allowed to touch a person of the opposite gender even as a friendly gesture.
Laymen and laywomen are only expected to refrain from sexual misconduct. ex: Becoming intimate with another's wife or husband. So as long as they keep to the five precepts, they can show affection to another in any socially acceptable method.
Upvote:2
ZEN Buddhist priests and nuns may marry, and laypeople of any tradition do have intimacy at any level.
From the Karaniya Metta Sutta:
“Just as a mother would protect her only child with her life, even so let one cultivate a boundless love towards all beings.”
More post
- 📝 I'm fascinated by 'death': what would Dogen say?
- 📝 Infinity, eternity, countlessness in Buddhism
- 📝 Do we know in what posture the Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree?
- 📝 Meals in the afternoon and different time zones
- 📝 Can brain injured people progress in meditation?
- 📝 "Guard the sense doors"- What does this mean, and what is it's application?
- 📝 How should a bodhisattva respond to evil?
- 📝 Personal practice regarding stream entry
- 📝 Time and Frequency of Meditation
- 📝 Applied Meditation
- 📝 Attachment to other people and beings?
- 📝 Punishments for breaking vinaya rules
- 📝 Who is the laughing Buddha?
- 📝 How are the importance of sutras determined?
- 📝 Questions about buying a Buddha statue
- 📝 Can open monitoring meditation lead to states of Jhana?
- 📝 Monks and politics
- 📝 Do we reincarnate into similar or polar-opposite lives
- 📝 Can the Buddhism.SE site function as "the Sangha" for me?
- 📝 What is the story where some of the Buddha's followers commit suicide?
- 📝 Pure Perception
- 📝 In which text first time "Gautama leaving Yashodhara for searching truth" story is written?
- 📝 How do Bodhisattva vow takers avoid stream entry?
- 📝 Where and what to study - Buddhist compassion and business communication
- 📝 Does anyone interpret 'karma' this way?
- 📝 What is the role of karma in rebirth?
- 📝 Buddhism and the Diet Practices view from other religion
- 📝 How does one Realize emptiness?
- 📝 Where does the Buddha say 'you will be punished by your anger'?
- 📝 People get sick and die next to me - my karma?
Source: stackoverflow.com
Search Posts
Related post
- 📝 Do Buddhists need affection, physical touch or intimacy?
- 📝 Do buddhists fall in love?
- 📝 Are all Buddhists vegetarian?
- 📝 How do Buddhists express condolences?
- 📝 How should Buddhists handle prayer requests?
- 📝 Why do Buddhists believe there is no creator?
- 📝 Can Buddhists be good workplace leaders?
- 📝 How concerned should Buddhists be with the actions of others?
- 📝 Are Buddhists against abortion?
- 📝 Did Buddhists ever actively participate in a major violent conflict?
- 📝 Confused about partner's practices. Need advice
- 📝 Do all Buddhists abstain from alcohol?
- 📝 Physical Exercise as a Monk?
- 📝 Do Buddhists believe in gods?
- 📝 What do buddhists do in a situation of war where all able-bodied men must become soldiers?
- 📝 Buddhist practice and physical exercises
- 📝 What would Buddhists do to get rid of the feeling of insecurity in relationships?
- 📝 Is Mind in Buddhism connected to Brain (the physical organ)?
- 📝 Attachment vs legitimate need
- 📝 Is there any extreme of physical pain that a fully enlightened person would find unpleasant on any level?
- 📝 Should Lay Buddhists Teach the Dhamma?
- 📝 Why do Buddhists believe that the Buddha was enlightened, despite that he claimed it himself?
- 📝 Why did the Buddha touch the earth at his enlightenment?
- 📝 What do Buddhists do to prevent sexual desires?
- 📝 How do Buddhists justify or explain that monks and/or temples amass and use wealth?
- 📝 If each person's mind creates "reality" then why do we need to eat?
- 📝 Why do we need to work?
- 📝 How do Buddhists use mudras?
- 📝 Experiencing physical pain
- 📝 I need an answer as to why i received a mother who makes me feel like an outcaste?