Battles that ended with a disaster for all the parties

Well, though it breaks the proposed time frame, I give an example from XVII century.

This is the Battle of Dmitrov, 1610, Russia which is the part of Time of Troubles - a dramatic series of events in Russian history.

In 1608-1610 Moscow was besieged by the pretender commonly referred as False Dmitriy II, who was supported by Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. Russian tsar Vasili Shuisky, who took the throne after murdering in 1606 the previous Polish creature False Dmitriy I, wasn't able to do anything with that. Until his distant relative, young and promising general Mikhail Skopin-Shuisky in a highly successful campaign defeated Polish forces in several battles, and after the forementioned Battle of Dmitrov, finally raised the siege of Moscow and broke the hopes of False Dmitriy II for the Russian throne.

But the popularity of young general made him a big concern for the tsar (who, in turn, was extremely unpopular - he was the former protege of tsar Boris Godunov, who betrayed his son Feodor Godunov for False Dmitriy I, and later betrayed False Dmitriy I; moreover, Skopin-Shuisky had more dynastic rights on the Russian throne than tsar Vasili). So in a few weeks after his triumph 23-years old Skopin-Shuisky died.

Tsar Vasili was commonly accused in poisoning (and this supposition is also highly supported until nowadays), and in another three months he was made to abdicate and to take the monastic vows. Polish prince Vladislav was then proclaimed as Russian tsar. Vasili Shuisky was handed to Poles and sent to Warsaw where he died a prisoner two years later.

Needless to say, these events were also a blow for False Dmitriy II, who lost the support of Poland, and had to fight against his former allies in a desperate attempt to gain the throne. That was all in vain, and at the end of 1610 he was killed by conspirators.

Vladislav's reign wasn't for a long time too. The uprising of 1611 was unsuccessful, but in 1612 Minin and Pozharsky ousted Poles from Moscow. And in 1613 the elected tsar Mikhail I founded the new dynasty of Romanovs.

UPD. Talking about military tactics, under Dmitrov Russian army made heavy use of snowy Febrary. Polish elite cavalry was almost useless, while Skopin-Shuyski relied on about 4000 trained skiers. So he kept the initiative from the beginning to the end, attacking outposts, until on 20th Febrary 1610 he managed both to take a large fortification and to meet the reinforcements on the march. Although Russians still couldn't take the main fortress, but the blow was so hard that polish mercenaries later went to Smolensk, and False Dmitriy II fled.

I think you are looking for a Pyrrhic victory. See the battles of Ascalum and Herecleam.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrrhic_victory

The Battle of Kosovo (Serbian: Косовска битка/Kosovska bitka, Turkish: Kosova Meydan Muharebesi) took place on 15 June 1389 between the army led by the Serbian Prince Lazar Hrebeljanović, and the invading army of the Ottoman Empire under the command of Sultan Murad Hüdavendigâr. The army under Prince Lazar consisted of his own troops, a contingent led by Serbian nobleman Vuk Branković, and a contingent sent from Bosnia by King Tvrtko I, commanded by Vlatko Vuković. Prince Lazar was the ruler of Moravian Serbia, and the most powerful among the Serbian regional lords of the time, while Vuk Branković ruled District of Branković located in a part of Kosovo and other areas, recognizing Lazar as his overlord. The battle was fought on the in Kosovo field, in the territory ruled by Branković, in Kosovo. Its site is about 5 kilometers northwest of the modern city of Prishtina.

It is difficult to assess the importance of the Kosovo Battle for world history. However, it is undeniable that the Battle of Kosovo was exceptionally significant not only for Serbia, but also for Europe and European Christian civilization.

It is a fact that on Vidovdan, June 15, 1389, the Serbs, without help from a single European nation, defended on Kosovo Field not only the frontiers of their own territory and lives of their people, but, at the risk of losing their national independence, they also defended the interests and security of Christian Europe. In the conflict of 2 rival civilizations, the Muslim and the Christian, the Serbs checked the wave of the Turkish invasion, interposed themselves as a wall between the Turks and Europe, and enabled Europe to make preparations for its own defense. It is questionable whether the history of Europe would have been the same without the Battle of Kosovo.

Reliable historical accounts of the battle are scarce. We still don't know who exactly won the battle. At one point, the bells of the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris rang out in (maybe) erroneous salute to the Serbs' victory. But even if Serbs won the battle it was a pyrrhic victory.

Both armies were decimated out in the battle; both Lazar and Murad lost their lives, and the remnants of their armies eventually retreated from the battlefield. Murad's son Bayezid strangled his younger brother Yakub Çelebi upon hearing that their father had died, becoming the sole heir to the Ottoman throne. The Serbs were left with too few men to defend their lands effectively, while the Turks had many more troops in the east. Consequently, the Serbian principalities that were not already Ottoman vassals became so in the following years, one by one. Furthermore, in response to Ottoman pressure, some Serbian noblemen wed their daughters, including the daughter of Prince Lazar, to Bayezid. In the wake of these marriages, Stefan Lazarević became a loyal ally of Bayezid, going on to contribute significant forces to many of Bayezid's future military engagements, including the Battle of Nicopolis. Eventually, the Serbian Despotate would, on numerous occasions, attempt to defeat the Ottomans in conjunction with the Hungarians until its final defeat in 1459 and again in 1540.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kosovo

Third Battle of panipat is what you are looking for -

The battle was fought between Ahmad Shah Durrani and Marattha Empire near Delhi (now capital of India) on 14th Jan 1761. Technically Ahmad Shah won the war however didn't gained much from it and had to return back to Afganistan. Estimated losses on both sides around 150,000 however more civilians were killed after Marattha were lost.

one of the source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Battle_of_Panipat