Issues with legal documents and marriage

score:5

Accepted answer

I read in the comments that you're not looking for an answer from a particular denomination, but a purely biblical answer.

Well, if you're a Christian, then you'd know that the OT laws (besides the 10 commandments) are not what we follow any more, as they have their completion in Jesus. Further, you are aware that you must render unto Caesar what is Caesars. It would see as though the formalities in civil marriage are little more than a tax on marriage and don't constitute a legitimate marriage in the eyes of God.

Just as heresy can shed a lot of light on what the true Church teaches. Divorce can shed a lot of light on what marriage is. Owing to what Jesus said (Matt 19:8), in the beginning it was not so, in the beginning you had Adam and Eve, the first married couple and the example for all marriage. The coupling which took "it is not good for man to be alone" to "woah, this is indeed flesh of my flesh!". If anyone says Adam and Eve weren't married in the eyes of God and didn't have a perfect marriage in the beginning, they'd have a long and complicated argument.

So, if they had the best possible marriage, if you find it is impossible to be wed in a Church in the way you'd best see fit, getting married in the most prudent possible way is always better than being consumed with fire, as St. Paul might say. If you want, you can have your marriage blessed later.

Then, to go back to divorce, Jesus says that divorce is only OK if the marriage is unlawful, which means there must be something that makes the marriage lawful.

To a Catholic, a lawful marriage requires consent of the man and the woman, full knowledge of what they're getting in to, nothing previous encumbering the marriage. There is a biblical pretext for all this, as I think there is for all Catholic tradition, but that's a bit beyond the scope of the question (or at least my capacity to answer)

Upvote:1

As Peter Turner pointed out, the Catholics consider marriage to be a covenant between the participants, and this is followed more or less by other churches. I know of no church that would consider you 'not married' just because you hadn't had a ceremony in a church with a minister. (If you doubt this, imagine asking that same church if it was OK to leave your spouse because you 'hadn't been married in church'. None of them are going to approve that.) As a side consideration, you will be married in the eyes of the church when you sign the civil papers. That should only affect you if you change your mind between signing the papers and the church ceremony, so hopefully not an issue.

To answer the question you put in comments, you are not therefore lying to the civil authorities - you really are married when you've filled the forms in. They aren't concerned about the church ceremony, just the legal status. And since the civil marriage makes you married in the eyes of the church you aren't lying to anyone. You might well want to think of yourselves as 'not married' until the church ceremony, and that's up to you, and I doubt God or anyone else will be upset.

Upvote:3

I don't think you'll find anything other than Christian tradition that makes a lot of prescriptions for "legitimate" marriage. Marriage is essentially defined in Genesis 2:

Genesis 2:24 (NASB) For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

I don't recall any laws in the OT that make prescriptions for marriage ceremonies or legitimate marriages.

Marriage: Covenant Between Two Individuals

I would posit that marriage is essentially a covenant between two individuals, and whenever the two individuals make the commitment, they are as married as they need to be before God.

In the USA (in most states anyway—marriage is currently defined by each state), it might be a legal requirement to have a sanctioned individual (priest/ordained minister, justice of the peace, etc.) legally certify that two individuals are married, but that would only matter if you cared about being married in the eyes of the law. (I would care, if for no other reason than to avoid the appearance of evil—but I don't know that it would be an absolute necessity.)

Summary

I wouldn't be troubled about turning in a marriage document ahead of time, since that event need not have any bearing on when you decide to make your commitment (to God and each other) and subsequently (presumably) consummate the marriage. It certainly wouldn't be problematic to be "married" for a while before living as a married couple.

More post

Search Posts

Related post