How do those who believe Jesus was eternally the Son explain Jesus being chosen?

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Your premise about choosing is inaccurate. Or, at least, it doesn't apply universally to all Christian views of God, even all traditional Christian views of God. Under a Boethian understanding of God's perspective, God's choosing would never be part of a chronology, but totally separate from any temporal sequence of events. This is because all moments are eternally present to God. He exists in what is commonly called today the "eternal now."

Anyone who holds to the Boethian view would easily answer your question by saying that the Son was chosen eternally, rather than being in some sense initially "not chosen" and later "chosen."

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