What should a Christian do when the state permits something the church does not?
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I agree with your assessment. You really answered your own question - don't do it. That's as far as the civil disobedience can go in that case - not participating yourself.
Anything else (speaking out against the activity, protesting, etc) isn't civil disobedience, it's merely exercising your first amendment rights.
The only way that I can see such activity turning into civil disobedience is if the police show up and demand you stop protesting. If you continue to speak out or protest at that point, you're exercising civil disobedience, not to the original law you're protesting, but to the attack on your first amendment rights.
That's not the same as exercising civil disobedience by refusing to partake in an unjust law, so it really doesn't apply to your question and we're back to just "don't partake" as the only possible act of civil disobedience, which isn't civil disobedience at all.
Example: Drinking is legal in the U.S. as long as you're over 21 years old. However, some Christians view drinking as sinful (or at least not profitable). Not drinking isn't civil disobedience.
As I ramble on here, I can only come to the conclusion that the answer to this question isn't so much based on logic or Christianity, but on the proper use of the English language, and the definition of the term "disobedience".
Put simply, to refuse to partake in something isn't disobedience unless an authority is attempting to force you to partake. Therefore, when the law allows something, but does not require it, then refusing to take part is not disobedience, civil or otherwise.
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