Question on sexual immorality and a family situation

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Accepted answer

It is not officially a breach of the 3rd precept, which, per definition, relates to actual sexual activity with specifically defined people (such as another person's husband or wife or children/teenagers still living under the care of their parents).

However, p**nography is of the kind of extreme "dangerous" (ādīnavā) potentially addictive vices found in the 'six causes ruin a man' in the Sigalovada Sutta.

Also, extreme p**nography is particularly discordant with Buddhist views about the aims & needs of women (AN 6:52); it is often 'sexual objectification'; is a 'delusion' about reality; & thus does not abide with metta (wishing good welfare) & compassion (mitigating suffering).

Since, it was your computer, you have a duty of care (towards yourself) to mention it to your relative because it was a breach of your trust & something that could potentially have imperiled you (such as if it was an illegal kind of p**nography that could be traced to your computer or if it was a work computer supplied by an employer).

If the relative is your child, again, the Sigalovada Sutta states a parent has the duty to restrain their children from evil & encourage them to do good.

Similarly, as a genuine friend, the Sigalovada Sutta states to protect a friend when he is heedless, to not forsake him in his troubles, to give good counsel, to discourage from doing evil encourage & to do good.

The Sigalovada Sutta contains most answers to Buddhist personal & social conduct.

As for p**nography, it is a very powerful (alluring) sense object, even if looked at out of curiosity. Since it is freely accessible on the public internet, many people watch it or have viewed it.

I have noticed more than a few members on a certain Buddhist chatsite that have brought up their problems with & addictions to p**nography.

About sensual pleasures (which includes p**nography) the scriptures advise to be cognizant of: (i) the origin (all lifeforms are sexual/reproductive/filial beings); (ii) the allure/attraction; (iii) the drawback/danger; & (iv) the method to escape the danger (which is appropriate healthy use of appropriate sexual relationship or, otherwise, restraint). Some links below.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.010.than.html http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.054x.than.html

Pornography can have a powerful allure but I assume many people grow out of it (just as many people get addicted to it).

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