Buddhism Perspective on Frustration

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Accepted answer

From the perspective of training I received, this is a (very) obvious case of "attachment" - to things being "right", and likely also to success and praise.

I suspect, your frustration and anger are your reactions to dukkha generated when in your mind there is a mismatch between your expectation of how the task is supposed to proceed, and how it actually goes.

In my understanding, there are two steps here: one, attachment to an idea of things going perfectly generates dukkha; and two your aversion to dukkha generating frustration and anger. I would not be surprised if there were an element of self-reflection going on as well. As in, thoughts like "why don't other people run into these problems and I do?" or "this is my bad luck". And probably some reverse projection of these back onto the world e.g. "I'm running into these issues because someone else did a sloppy job." and/or "This world is broken! Things never go right and everything is in a mess! It's hopeless!"

From Buddhism's perspectives these are all pathological thoughts rooted in attachment, aversion, and confusion. The root of all this is ignorance - an incorrect expectation of how things are supposed to work, based on an incorrect (overly simplified!) idea of how things work in general.

So, naturally, the remedy is to meditate on how things work!

  • why exactly things don't go perfectly?
  • where do the obstacles come from?
  • if it's the other people who did it imperfectly, why could they not do it perfectly?
  • what are all the factors at play?
  • can things ever be perfect?
  • what is "perfection" anyway, and does my mind play the role in defining it?
  • is my definition of "perfection" truly objective, or is it partially biased and somewhat one-sided?
  • aren't things already perfect in some global sense?
  • does my attachment to idea of how things should be, that leads to frustration, does it help me or others?
  • does being in a frustrated state lead to my long-term happiness?
  • when things go different from my idea of how they were supposed to, can I learn to not lag behind reality in my mind and to keep updating my idea to always match reality?
  • if I learn to stay in sync like that at all times, would I not be stable and at peace?
  • could it be that this is what Buddhism is actually about?

The last question is obviously a leading question on my part, sorry about that ;)

But yes, analysis like this, and resulting change in perspective is how these things are to be resolved, in my opinion.

Upvote:1

Quoting a topic on Dhamma Wheel:

From MN 20:

Here, bhikkhus, when a bhikkhu is giving attention to some sign, and owing to that sign there arise in him evil unwholesome thoughts connected with desire, with hate, and with delusion, then he should give attention to some other sign connected with what is wholesome

And Ven. Bodhi's note:

MA: When thoughts of sensual desire arise directed towards living beings, the “other sign” is the meditation on foulness (see MN 10.10); when the thoughts are directed to inanimate things, the “other sign” is attention to impermanence. When thoughts of hate arise directed towards living beings, the “other sign” is the meditation on loving-kindness; when they are directed to inanimate things, the “other sign” is attention to the elements (see MN 10.12). The remedy for thoughts connected with delusion is living under a teacher, studying the Dhamma, inquiring into its meaning, listening to the Dhamma, and inquiring into causes.

The first quote (from MN 20) and probably the second are taken from Bikkhu Bodhi's THE MIDDLE LENGTH DISCOURSES OF THE BUDDHA.

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