How can I talk to my mother (who idle-chatters) without getting angry?

'anger' is actually an illusion: it doesn't exist. There doesnt seem to be any noncircular definition/ description of it either. So just be glad someone is nice & interested to share their time with you. An empirical example too: Knew a very learned busy kind person who came to an appreciated understanding with their folks that talks re 'important things' would only occur if genuinely very pressing, and then hopefully of under 2to3 minutes duration. That all communications would hopefully be about the weather, birds, shika, squirrels, lunch, what might be for dinner, songs, water, tree growth, scenic vistas, walking around, etc. That was much more important to them, inane chatter. Priceless. No hustlebustle. Seems like wise decision.

And because of time constraints, maybe simply reduce duration of calls by a few percent. Laugh and share joy & tell them you have to go for then, and thank them for talking with you. Isnt a biggee: straightforward and honest & ok!

Whether what they talk about seems important, apparently its important to them, so: ok! Or adjust the subjects a bit. Discuss the weather and nutrition or something, something upbeat & optimistic. Very good. Uplifting maybe. Have some nice tea while on the phone(just notspilling it into the phone etc)

And if irritation, simply discontinue it. Irritation probably wouldnt adjust anything in a useful direction anyway. And the situation doesnt really sound bratty, & if it really seems like it is, then simply discontinue brattiness. Good. And much less tedious than fretting over it. Much easier too. and sort of like being honest, theres less to keep track of.

And every time is new, every moment can be appreciated. Invest in good happy kindly things rather than self indulgent tedious things, such as that discarded illusion commented on at the outset!

And always try do the best one can: cant do any better than that!

When we want to deal with someone, we need to first understand that someone. The more information or knowledge we have of that someone, the easier it gets.

Now in the case of your mother, isn't it obvious that she desires to stay on the phone as long as possible with you? She doesn't do the same when you're physically with her, because she's happy enough that you're already there. So what do you think is happening here?

As I see it, she wants you to be present. Talking to you on the phone allows her to feel that you are present. And what does she get with that? No much actually, except for short periods of relief, I guess, from loneliness. And why talk about unnecessary things? Why not? The subject obviously doesn't matter. Even if it's a repetition, whatever comes to her mind is a way to keep you with her, to keep her from feeling lonely.

You, as her child, wish to please her, and so you keep listening. While wanting to be nice, you listen with anger. Even if there's not much of that in the beginning, it builds up in you. And when you can't hold it anymore, you explode.

Frustrating, isn't it?

You might think that by listening quietly she might eventually recognize that you want to end the conversation and that solves your problem. Hasn't work so far, huh?

When we let someone with lots of desire lead a conversation, then it's to be expected that the conversation becomes dominated by desire. Since between you and her, you have a clearer head (i.e. more wisdom), and you want the conversion to be more meaningful, then you are the one who has to take the lead.

Stop trying to be nice, and start being kind instead, and courageous.

Help her. Help yourself. Lead the conversation. Choose the time to call her. Tell her how much time you have with her on the phone. Ask her about her day, her feelings. Don't let her defilements lead. Let your wisdom and love lead. Let her feel your presence, your love for her.

All the best to you.