On personal practice of meditation
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QUESTION IS CITTA GOES IN WITHOUT CONTROL.----The citta is in habit of going/wandering outside since so many lives. But once it tastes the ecstasy of going inside,it gains the habit of frequently going inside and staying there.You are gifted entity, may be already advanced on the path in previous life and have interrupted by lot many reasons like death etc. Feel blessed . Let the chitta goes inside without your control. After All the citta is driven by the sankharas .You might be having sankhara in your subconscious ,which has become active. The subconscious is master of its own, it does not listen to your conscious,intellect,education,upbringing,etc etc. The captain has taken charge of the ship for good reason of going inside and being there .Unless this good reason beholds,go on with it. The next sub question is ceasing of thoughts you are experiencing ,is it anicca?. No it is not anicca. The permanent wisdom attained at experiential level of the arising and passing away of sensations as observed in vipassana/satipatthana is anicca. At present you are experiencing cessation of thoughts and not the impermanent nature of their arising and passing. In schizophrenia the mind becomes blank,or frequently becomes blank,without thoughts arising.This happens without the person"s conscious control over the state. In this path we have to take the chitta inside ,but then not to stop at that ,remaining alert have observe the in/out breath as per anapansatti given by master(buddha) at initial stage and with the sharpened awareness observe the sensations without reacting to the pleasantness/unpleasantness felt upon their arising ,with craving or aversion. After some years, the wisdom of anicca arises upon knowing their impermanent nature.i.e their arising and passing away. The wisdom cant be conveyed by writing , it is very very personal to that individual. Still further on continuing, wisdom of anatta arises. Then there remains very little to attain enlightenment. Go on practising , the whole very practice is to destroy habit/conditioning of mind. We know only the monkey mind,always reacting to something at conscious level and at subconscious level 24/7 reacting to the sensations produced on contact by sensory bases. Wish it be sign of mind with feeble reacting slowly weakening its habit/conditioning. As we have never came across such nature of mind, a feeling is there ,that the mind has ceased. If this is so dont fear. If the mind is felt that it is ceasing, then do write a diary for about seven days and impartially mentioning in it events occuring throughout the day when the mind have felt insulted/broken. If you still find such events filled in your diary then still more to go . No anikka nor anatta has been attained. PL do write/comment after carrying out this exercise, so that it would be of utmost use to others who are walking on this path. Such type of experiences may be misunderstood by many as attaining anicca/anatta
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