Question on Divisive Speech
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Perhaps, according to Buddhism and modern psychology, it isn't helpful to "speak about it to someone to let off steam".
If you are in some abusive relationship, then doing something about it (something other that what you have been doing previously) may be healthy; and so, talking enough to understand what's happening, and to make new plans, may be healthy; but "letting off steam" doesn't sound right.
To pick just one example from Google, here's a quote from Psychology Today: You Can't Punch Your Way Out of Anger -- You canβt let off steam with violence. Posted Sep 24, 2009
As for Buddhism I think there's an obvious quote at the start of the Dhammapada:
"He abused me, he ill-treated me, he got the better of me, he stole my belongings;"... the enmity of those harbouring such thoughts cannot be appeased.
"He abused me, he ill-treated me, he got the better of me, he stole my belongings;"... the enmity of those not harbouring such thoughts can be appeased.
What's "skillful" might depend on how you talk about it and who with; but I at least want to challenge the premise that it "lets off steam" and that that's helpful. Instead of letting off steam it might keep the fire (of anger etc.) burning ... "fanning the flames" if you want a metaphor.
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Source: stackoverflow.com
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