Upvote:3
The UKVI helpline is known for giving bad advice.
Unless your visit visa has been physically cancelled in your passport, it is still valid. It would have been cancelled had your family visa been issued, but since it was not, you can still use it.
Note, however, that you would still be expected to show you're a genuine visitor when arriving at the UK border. Someone who has recently had their family visa application refused may get a more intensive questioning, because it might be suspected that you're going to overstay to circumvent your refusal.
Attending a funeral is a very good reason to be visiting the UK though. Be prepared to present evidence of it, if necessary (eg funeral invitation). Would also suggest your (British?) husband goes through the 'All Passports' queue together with you so that you can be processed together.