Etihad Airways: business class upgrade ignored; no refund yet
score:4
Airlines can be notoriously slow to provide refunds, as you have now realized. A month is frustrating, though not all that unusual, but you should at least be entitled to an explanation of when refund will be provided.
You could first try their customer service on Twitter: @EtihadHelp. Many companies staff such departments with different agents from those who handle calls.
When repeated attempts through customer service have not produced a satisfactory response, you can escalate your issue within the company. If you fail to get a satisfactory response, consumer advocate Christopher Elliott maintains a collection of executive contacts for various companies, including Etihad. You could contact their Vice President of Guest Experience with a polite, concise, and firm letter explaining exactly what you've told us and requesting a prompt refund.
Elliott's site also accepts requests for help from the public and attempts to get them resolved for you (more details about how this works in the FAQ).
If you paid the upgrade fee via credit card, you could also try filing a dispute with your credit card company for the charge.
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