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For some reason modern popular authors that deal with this subject are more of the autobiographical nature, such as Joni Eareckson Tada who has various books and lectures about taking joy in God's sovereignty, where she herself has been in a wheelchair for over thirty years. Another person along the same line that I remember is Corrie ten Boom whose story of trying to love and evangelize people in Nazi concentration camp was published under the name'The Hiding Place'. However, although these show great faith and lack of the victim mindset, they are not theological works but works of example.
As far as theological works go, there really are not many. Some might argue a famous work like 'The Christian in Complete Armour; A Treatise Of the Saints War against the Devil', By William Gernel is what you are looking for, and possibly it is. However, although many give this work very high reviews, I found it a little tiring to read and not really delving in the questions you are raising. It might almost seem to veer slightly into a stoics approach to the 'warfare' of life. It certainly leaves no room for a victim mentality, but still I would not say 'this is it'.
The only book I can think of that properly deals directly with the subject and is a classic, is Dr. Martin-Lloyd Jones, 'Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure'. The title is a little misleading because although it's been about twenty years since I read it, I remember it would depress a lot of people. It spends some time showing that the gospel really has all we need to rejoice in our sufferings. I do not remember it being stoical, but at the same time self-pity is not spared at all in this deep theological work.
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Several spring to mind. In no particular order:
*As Nicky Gumbel then says, "And the snake didn't have a leg to stand on."
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"God Wants You To Be Happy" by James Randall Robison. Good chapter on taking offense and victimhood. Also, "Happiness Is A Serious Problem" by Dennis Prager. Another good chapter on victimhood.