Why is Lust a sin in Matthew, but praised in Proverbs?

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The context of Matthew is adultery--relations with a woman who is not your wife. The context of Proverbs is marriage--relations with the woman who is your wife. The difference is quite substantial.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28 ESV

Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18-19 NAS

God actually created sexual intimacy to be fully enjoyed within the marriage relationship. Adultery, however, is a corruption of that holiest of relationships which destroys intimacy. Thus, it is strictly forbidden in both thought and deed, for our own good.

So, there is no contradiction at all.

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There is a difference between lust and desire. Lust is objectification and a need for gratuitous power. Lust is when a man has a lot of toys, like guns, boats, lawn mowers, and one of those toys is a woman (or women).

Desire is a natural feeling one has towards someone or thing which causes that person to fully know himself(herself).

Within the context of marriage any attempt at lust, whether towards one's spouse or another person will finally result in the lust(ee) facing his or herself and the emptiness that causes them to want power. Desire is more an attempt to know and be known.

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