Jehovah's Witnesses and Shunning Reconciled with New Testament

In order to answer your question, it is important to establish that discipline in the form of removing an unrepentant wrongdoer from the congregation is a form of judgement authorized by God to preserve the holiness of the congregation.

Examples are recorded throughout the scriptures from the time Gods people were organized into a congregation.

For instance, this direction was given to the nation of Israel in this regard:

Deut 13:6... “If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or your cherished wife or your closest companion should try to entice you in secrecy, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods, gods that neither you nor your forefathers have known, from the gods of the peoples all around you, whether near you or those far away from you, from one end of the land to the other end of the land, you must not give in to him or listen to him, nor should you show pity or feel compassion or protect him; instead, you should kill him without fail. Your hand should be the first to come upon him to put him to death, and the hand of all the people afterward. And you must stone him to death, because he has sought to turn you away from Jehovah your God, who has brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. Then all Israel will hear and become afraid, and they will never again do anything bad like this among you.”

This verse is significant in regards to your question, because despite God being the originator of marriage & family, when an individual rebelled against God, punishment was to be carried out despite family ties. This is not a contradiction of Gods command that “a man shall stick to his wife”, but rather shows how seriously God views rebellion against him. In Israel the punishment meant death, a permanent “cutting off”. Imagine how difficult it would have been to carry out Gods law. (Christians everywhere should be grateful we are not under the Mosiac Law). This verse also shows the discipline was to serve as a deterrent so others would not follow the same course.

Another reason a wrongdoer was to be removed from the congregation, was it impeded the flow of Gods Holy Spirit within the entire congregation. We can see this from another account recorded in the scriptures...

In Joshua 7: 1-26, One individual, Achan, secretly stole some items. Because he violated God’s explicit instructions, when Israel went to conquer the next city in Canaan, Jehovah withheld his blessing. When Joshua asked Jehovah why they had lost the battle, he was told “I will not be with you again unless you annihilate from your midst what was devoted to destruction”. Achan and his family (who were probably aware of his sin) were “cut off”—executed. Once that rebellious influence was removed from the congregation, God’s Holy Spirit flowed freely and Israel was successful again.

Regarding other serious sin (as when a death occurred) God commissioned Israelite elders to investigate. They were to establish facts, weigh carefully a manslayer’s motive, attitude, and previous conduct when deciding whether to show mercy. They had to determine whether the fugitive acted “out of hatred” and “with malicious intent.” (Numbers 35:20-24) If the testimony of witnesses was considered, at least two witnesses had to substantiate a charge of intentional murder. —Num. 35:30.

You can see from all these instances, the punishment of “cutting off” was for serious sins: apostasy, theft, murder. (Other sins that also required “cutting off” included disrespect of Jehovah, idolatry, child sacrifice, spiritism, desecration of sacred things, and practices as incest, be*t**lity, and sodomy.)

Today, Christians, while not under the Mosiac law, are also commanded to keep the Christian congregation clean, free from the influence of willful violators who deliberately “practice” sin. Some of the offenses that could merit disfellowshipping from the Christian congregation are fornication, adultery, h*m*sexuality, greed, extortion, thievery, lying, drunkenness, reviling, spiritism, murder, idolatry, apostasy, and the causing of divisions in the congregation. (1Co 5:9-13; 6:9, 10; Tit 3:10, 11; Re 21:8)

This would not be a contradiction to “ not judge your brother”, rather it would be in harmony with the direction given by the apostles to preserve the holiness of the Christian congregation. In fact, the scriptures make clear while we are NOT to judge those outside the congregation (that responsibility belongs to God), older men were given the responsibility to judge willful violators within the congregation....

1 Cor 5:11-13. But now I am writing you to stop keeping company with anyone called a brother who is sexually immoral or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do you not judge those inside, while God judges those outside? “Remove the wicked person from among yourselves.”

By not permissively overlooking willful sinfulness, a high standard of conduct befitting Gods holy people would (and should) be the norm in the congregation. Hypocrisy among those claiming to represent God was something Jesus fully condemned. This assures:

1) the free flow of Gods Holy Spirit in the congregation

2) others are not influenced by bad conduct

3) the congregation does not bring reproach upon God.

Thus, when someone visits a congregation of Jehovah’s witnesses (or one of Jehovah’s witnesses knocks on your door), you can be assured that person at least meets the Bible’s minimum code of conduct.

This all being said, disfellowshipping is a rare occurrence.
Firstly, because before one can be baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, an individual must have a good knowledge of the scriptures. They must fully understand the standard of conduct required to be in good standing in the congregation, be active in the door to door public ministry and attend all meetings. Obviously, someone who has reached that point in their determination to do Gods will is already dedicated, well before they present themselves for baptism. There’s no surprises and there’s no infant baptism. (Unlike in Israel, you were “born” in a covenant relationship with God; you didn’t have a choice)

Secondly, it’s really hard to be disfellowshipped. It’s a last resort when someone has changed their Christian course and just does not want to do what the Bible says. But the spirit behind disfellowshipping is never harsh. We are friends, families who have known each other, sometimes grown up together. The elders are our brothers, our friends and family as well. Members of the congregation truly mourn. When someone is disfellowshipped, they are encouraged to still attend meetings. They can sit with their families, go to the literature counter to request publications and can approach the elders. The elders also arrange to visit disfellowshipped ones to offer encouragement. In this way the congregation is obedient to scriptural counsel, but still keeps the door open for an individual who wants to turn their course around.

For further reading on this subject, please follow the links below.

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2015287

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1995003

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102002039

As a JW, this is an entirely false premise. "Jehovah’s Witness kids grow up knowing that if they ever mess up, their parents will leave them."

This is "trying" to describe "disfellowshipping." Which would only happen if an ordained minister turns their back on the congregation unrepentantly. A child that isn't a baptized minister can not be disfellowshipped. Someone who sins, but is repentant generally isn't disfellowshipped (unless the sin is extreme, in which case they could be disfellowshipped even if repentant). And even in the case of disfellowshipped people, this breaks spiritual bonds, not family ones.

In the book “Keep yourselves in God’s Love” we find:

In some instances, the disfellowshipped family member may still be living in the same home as part of the immediate household. Since his being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties, normal day-to-day family activities and dealings may continue. Yet, by his course, the individual has chosen to break the spiritual bond between him and his believing family. So loyal family members can no longer have spiritual fellowship with him. For example, if the disfellowshipped one is present, he would not participate when the family gets together for family worship. However, if the disfellowshipped one is a minor child, the parents are still responsible to instruct and discipline him. Hence, loving parents may arrange to conduct a Bible study with the child.*​—Proverbs 6:20-22; 29:17."

There are some situations where people are encouraged to avoid disfellowshipped people so as to not enable their behaviors. But to overimplify this to "if a child messes up their parent will leave them" is offensively dishonest. Some parents in any religion (including our own) definitely have disowned or neglected their children... this is a bad thing we do not approve of.

Before reconciling the shunning arrangement with these Scriptures, I'll first explain the situation.

Being shunned by Jehovah's Witnesses is a consequence of a person being either disfellowshipped or disassociated. A disfellowshipped person is someone who was previously a baptized member of Jehovah's Witnesses but then was found to be unrepentant in committing a serious sin. A disassociated person is someone who was previously baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses but who later expressed that they no longer wished to be known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Shunning is a last resort for those who have not heeded the counsel of the elders in their congregation. A great effort has already been made to steer the person back, but it has failed. Now it is the responsibility of the elders to maintain purity and unity within the congregation. When a person is jeopardizing that purity and poses a danger to the faith of others in the congregation, the congregation must cease all association with that person. In time, the person may discover the error of their decision, and at that time the elders would be happy to help this person return to the fold.

The Biblical basis for the practice of shunning is found in these scriptures:

1 Corinthians 5:1-6, 11-13

¹ Actually sexual immorality is reported among you, and such immorality as is not even found among the nations—of a man living with his father’s wife. ² And are you proud of it? Should you not rather mourn, so that the man who committed this deed should be taken away from your midst? ³ Although absent in body, I am present in spirit, and I have already judged the man who has done this, as if I were actually with you. ⁴ When you are gathered together in the name of our Lord Jesus, and knowing that I am with you in spirit along with the power of our Lord Jesus, ⁵ you must hand such a man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

⁶ Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven ferments the whole batch of dough?

...

¹¹ But now I am writing you to stop keeping company with anyone called a brother who is sexually immoral or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. ¹² For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do you not judge those inside, ¹³ while God judges those outside? “Remove the wicked person from among yourselves.”

From this first scripture, we can see that Paul had the authority to judge a man in the congregation at Corinth. The command was to stop associating with the man who had committed sexual immorality, which is a serious sin. This drastic action was necessary in order to avoid the "leaven" from spreading to the rest of the congregation.

Romans 16:17-20

¹⁷ Now I urge you, brothers, to keep your eye on those who create divisions and causes for stumbling contrary to the teaching that you have learned, and avoid them. ¹⁸ For men of that sort are slaves, not of our Lord Christ, but of their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattering speech they seduce the hearts of unsuspecting ones. ¹⁹ Your obedience has come to the notice of all, and so I rejoice over you. But I want you to be wise as to what is good, but innocent as to what is evil. ²⁰ For his part, the God who gives peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. May the undeserved kindness of our Lord Jesus be with you.

In this scripture, we can see the command to avoid those who create divisions and causes for stumbling which disrupt the peace and unity of the congregation. Obedience to this command is a cause for rejoicing because it is seen by all.

2 Timothy 2:16-18

¹⁶ But reject empty speeches that violate what is holy, for they will lead to more and more ungodliness, ¹⁷ and their word will spread like gangrene. Hy·me·naeʹus and Phi·leʹtus are among them. ¹⁸ These men have deviated from the truth, saying that the resurrection has already occurred, and they are subverting the faith of some.

1 Timothy 1:20

²⁰ Hy·me·naeʹus and Alexander are among these, and I have handed them over to Satan so that they may be taught by discipline not to blaspheme.

In these two scriptures, we can see the repeated mention of Hy·me·naeʹus, a man who participated in misleading the congregation and was thereafter disciplined by being "handed over to Satan," the same discipline that was given to the sexually immoral man in Corinth.

2 John 9-11

⁹ Everyone who pushes ahead and does not remain in the teaching of the Christ does not have God. The one who does remain in this teaching is the one who has both the Father and the Son. ¹⁰ If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your homes or say a greeting to him. ¹¹ For the one who says a greeting to him is a sharer in his wicked works.

This scripture discusses how to treat those who do not remain in "the teaching of the Christ." It makes it very clear that even greeting these persons causes us to become associated with their wrongdoing.

We can see throughout all of these verses that shunning these wrongdoers has several purposes:

1. To prevent the congregation from following after their sinful course
2. To restore peace and unity to the congregation
3. To protect the reputation of God's people
4. To discipline the wrongdoer so that they might return to Jehovah

To reconcile these purposes with the commands to "stop judging" and to "love your neighbor as yourself," it's important to note the example of Jesus himself in how he demonstrated these principles. Did he show a judgemental attitude in how he dealt with others? Did he completely hold back from counseling others? No. Jesus was able to discipline others with righteousness by using the Scriptures. (2 Timothy 3:16)