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Starting with the second question, the Magisterial teaching of the Church likewise finds both decisions to be bad
All things considered, it needs to be recognized that the thousands of abandoned embryos represent a situation of injustice which in fact cannot be resolved. Therefore John Paul II made an “appeal to the conscience of the world’s scientific authorities and in particular to doctors, that the production of human embryos be halted, taking into account that there seems to be no morally licit solution regarding the human destiny of the thousands and thousands of ‘frozen’ embryos which are and remain the subjects of essential rights and should therefore be protected by law as human persons”
And for the first question, I don't believe it's documented that a couple (or individual) receives a latae sententiae excommunication (automatic excommunication) for procuring IVF, but there is a good case to make for it on grounds that it is tantamount to abortion, which does receive that.
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Abortion is not an act of love. IVF is, because the parents are driven by the love of wanting to have children. However it is wrong morally. It can NEVER be compared to abortion morally.