Upvote:3
First, I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. I wish you strength and good health in spite of your obstacles. And you are not alone.
Many people meditate with different kinds of chronic pain. The pain hinders the process, but it need not prevent you from enjoying meditation or gaining benefits from it. If you're practicing vipassanΔ meditation, you can apply the mindfulness practice to your pain as part of the meditation experience.
For instance: as you focus on your breath during meditation, if you feel pain in your legs, allow your attention to remain on the pain. Be mindful of the pain: consider the way the pain feels, and examine the nature of pain in great detail. What kind of pain is it? Where exactly is it felt? Are there subtle things you can do to change the way you feel it (like shifting positions)?
Stay with the pain for a while, and then gently turn your attention back to your breath. The practice should not be to ignore the pain, or otherwise mask or cover it, but to experience it mindfully so that you can fully understand it.
You may find some comfort in this very recent study from the Journal of Neuroscience that discusses the pain relief benefit in vipassanΔ meditation: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/302620.php
Good luck and stay strong! You can conquer this.
Upvote:4
I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable, and afraid and alone.
Some of the answers to the question, "Experiencing physical pain", might be helpful.
The article "Using Meditation to Deal with Pain, Illness & Death" is perhaps the most helpful answer I have found so far.
Upvote:6
Giri-m-Ananda Sutta has details of how to overcome illness. At a superficial level you can start as following and go deeper as in the Sutta. Also there is a book Meditation on Perception: Ten Healing Practices to Cultivate Mindfulness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana which might be of interest.
With regard to sleep deprivation try Metta Bhavana. One benefit of this is you sleep easy.
Also remember pain is not pain unless you make it your pain. There is the physical sensation feeling and the mental cognising that this is my pain. The latter is bigger than the physical pain hence try look at the pain as mere pain. See: Vedenaupassana in Satipatthanas. You may also try taking a course at: http://dhamma.org/