Am I Bearing the pain or observing it, When my leg hurts during Vipassana?
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then i was thinking am i observing this pain,
Thinking as such is creates verbal fabrications. The objective is reduce fabrications. You should look as the sensations arising and passing without creating any craving and aversion. There can be no verbalisation, intellectualisation (thinking and pondering), visualisation, etc.
or am i bearing it
You should just passively observe and not suppress it by diverting your attention to more pleasant thoughts. If this is what you mean by bearing it then, yes, you are bearing it.
If you want you can try breathing meditation if the pain is unbearable in your body. This is fine. You should always limit are diverted to either Ānāpānasati or Satipaṭṭhāna and between them. You should always be calm.
Also use the pain as a tool to reduce latent tendency (see: Anusaya by Piya Tan) of aversion by not rejecting or being averse for the painful feeling.
the latent tendency to aversion reinforced by rejecting painful feelings
This also does not mean you should stay with the painful sensations only as you will miss the more subtle sensation but they need to be also felt.
I could not move my left toe every single time
This happens but perhaps as a beginner you could try using a small chair or cushion if this might help.
Upvote:1
Some modern schools of meditation observe physical pain however I have not read about this kind of practise in the Pali scriptures. The Pali scriptures recommend the practise of Anapanasati & jhana (pleasant abiding), where vipassana occurs as a natural result.
Impermanence & not-self happens with everything, including the in & out breathing. The more calm & clear the mind is, the more it can observe impermanence & not-self, which is vipassana ('clear seeing of reality').
I advise sitting posture should always be comfortable, with a naturally erect spine. If a person cannot sit crossed-legged on a floor with comfort then kneel or sit on a stool.
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