How to accept things as-is and live according to as-is?

by learning to look deeply at life with a cleared mind which means practicing meditation.

As someone mentioned, those people you refer to are taking a passive nihilist stance, which is essentially that everything is meaningless. I rather prefer the aggressive nihlist stance, which can be summed up with a quote from the TV series, Angel: "If nothing we do matter, all that matters is what we do." Essentially, we create our own purpose and meaning in life (within the context of the 10 precepts).

To answer your questions within the context off (Zen) Buddhism, stop trying to use logic; that's a delusion. Reading on methods to accept life with do nothing but fill your head with more perceptions that will need to be wiped away. Simply sit, breath, and count. Focus on nothing more than the breathing and counting. Let any thoughts slip away like water. The goal is to unite with your breathing, to comprehend that each breathe is whole and complete as it is, with nothing more that needs to be added and nothing that needs to be taken away.

Ultimately there is no extra meaning in life other than what things are but when it is appropriate we can make use of conceptual reality to make up our own meaning in life. Ultimate truth gives us a clean slate so to speak and we can make use of conceptual truth to make up our own meaning on that slate as long as it's in line with the eightfold path or right livelihood. Of course, conceptual truth is not our enemy, it can be put to great use inside the path.

I find that in most cases, these sorts of questions cannot be solved in the context in which they were raised (like the famous quote by Einstein, I think it was). To get an answer, you need to change your context, which means to practice for now in the faith that there is an answer, and it will come. Your faith is what you bring to the game: your "ante". Without that, you cannot get anywhere. But like any game, you do not know the outcome in advance (the answer you are seeking), so you have to play to find out. The basis of Buddhism is taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. You begin with only that.

So, press on and the answers will come. No one can do that for you (or your friends who question the meaning and purpose of life). You begin any form of education knowing that you do not already know the fullness of it, or where it will lead. Could I tell you "the meaning and purpose of Calculus" either? Yet people still go to school. Trust that the millions of seekers who came before you did actually find. Enjoy the journey. This is what my Guru teaches about beginning a spiritual path. It has worked for me and others that I know.

Most schools of buddhism advise to live a balanced way of life.

It never says there is no meaning or purpose in life. Indeed it remains silent for this matter but encourage to accept things as they are which means also of course accepting to live! Don't run away from life, look deeply at it, accept it, and love it.

Which means also means to accept yourself and others as they are, assume your responsability toward them, treat them with compassion and treat your body and mind correctly.

this question makes a valid point. the key issue is how to explain to people that there is another option available. it is very easy to read about buddhism and find that it justifies a feeling that there is simply no point in doing anything. that existence is without meaning. this can indeed lead to feeling of total futility. i would also add that telling a depressed person to accept things as they are is really not a good idea. when you are feeling that awful, your perception is skewed. from the perspective of a depressed person you are being asked to accept that life is futile, cruel, painful etc etc. it's no different to telling someone to suck it up, deal with it or grow a pair. such an attitude could indeed lead to suicide if that person were to experience it again again. it is first necessary to carefully and considerately define things as they are, (in an ultimate sense) then to demonstrate the practical steps towards genuine non-resentful acceptance. acceptance and grudging acceptance are not the same.

It's not so much that Buddhism says 'Life has no meaning' but more that the question 'What is the meaning of life' must be re-examined and reformulated before being answered. The question presupposes that meaning is something that exists as a property of life itself, but according to Buddhism, concepts such as meaning don't exist in things themselves, but are created by the mind with reality as its basis.

In other words, Buddhism answers the question 'What is the meaning of life' by saying 'Meaning is created in the mind'. Life doesn't come with a meaning and purpose already stamped on them, but is something that individuals create and can decide for themselves.

First of all, "there is no single absolute meaning" does not equate with "nothing matters at all". Despite the absence of absolute meaning, suffering is still bad, and no suffering is still good. Here is your relative purpose: solve your own suffering, and help others solve theirs. Is this not the greatest, most beautiful challenge?

How to accept things as they are? By clearly seeing. Clearly seeing what?

• That when we don't accept things as they are (that is, when we cling to illusions that mismatch the way things are) -- then the acts we perform are based on a wrong foundation, and therefore lead to wrong results! Hereby is suffering.
• That when we do accept things as they are -- then we can deal with them properly! Hereby is cessation of suffering.

Now, to accept does not mean to give up. Enlightenment is not powerlessness, it is the state of power, spontaneity, joy, wisdom, and compassion. You stop maintaining yourself in maimed and injured condition, and learn to dance like no one is watching. And once you've learned it yourself, you pay it forward and teach the others.

Absence of single absolute goal means you are free to do anything you want! Is this what depresses your friends, freedom? We are free to create. Within the constraints of the framework that provides the building blocks to play with, we can create stuff. True, there is no final purpose to creation -- like having your thing win some kind of Universal Competition, or having it sold at some kind of Cosmic Auction for the Real Money -- so what, you can still create just for the fun of it!

Is this not enough? Suffering, cessation of suffering, compassion, dancing, creation -- or would you rather prefer some single "meaning" that would force everyone to go one way?