How to accept and surrender to the mind's non-acceptance of doubt and ill-will?
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Any words, tips, or tools you guys have are so very much appreciated.
Does it help to remember that "doubt" and "identity view" belong together? If they eradicate together (at the same stage) then maybe they arise together.
Even though I know in my heart to trust my own words and experiences, when doubt is strong enough, everything is deluded.
Isn't 'identity view' a bit deluded too?
So like, "I am doubting" and "here is myself experiencing doubt": just forget it. Experience it, recognize it, remember it's delusive, and put it away, do or be without it.
I (subjectively or as an analogy) experience some kind of brain storm that's like an electrical short circuit, that draws all the electric current and does nothing. If it persists and I recognize it then I deliberately blow the fuse on it: i.e. recognize it as a fault, switch off the current (stop feeding it), try to see a bigger, more stable, more useful picture.
I label/name that storm "a thicket of views", which the suttas say is associated with views about self.
In summary I'm trying to suggest that if you're experiencing "doubt" then maybe you're experiencing "identity view"; maybe you can already handle identity view, and/or recognize it as a cause of doubt.
I would appreciate input on how to handle strong moments of doubt and ill-will towards that doubt.
According to the Wikipedia article I cited above, doubt and identity-view go together but ill-will may remain until later. So don't be surprised if there's ill-will.
I mean, you're saying "ill-will towards doubt and delusion". I suppose you have to be free of the doubt and delusion you talked about, first and foremost; and once you see things clearly then you can (perhaps literally) "sort out" the ill-will (maybe ill-will goes after delusion stops, like you say it comes after delusion starts).
This advice is partly based on the idea that "right view" is the first (or if it's called "right knowledge" then it's also nearly the last) factor on the path.
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What you resist persists, what you embrace dissolve. The more you will resist your tendancy to doubt, the more you will experiment doubt. Let it be, even if unpleasant, and cease to resist it in the present moment. It will then gradually go away.
Yann
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Practice the Four Immeasurables, the four divine abodes.
Potential practice methods: There are four, pick one a day and spend a few twenty-minute sessions meditating on it.
Loving-kindness / loving-heartedness (metta)
Empathic/empathetic/sympathetic joy (mudita)
Compassion / "to suffer with [and yearn to relieve]" (karuna)
Equanimity = deep equipoise (upekkha)
They are called Brahmaviharas which translates roughly to "divine fields of becoming" or "godly dwellings"
Hindrances and afflictions are overcome by wise effort.
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Dukkha comes from mismatch between "what is" and what you think "should be". Keep repeating this until it sinks in :)
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