How to handle contrition
score:6
In suttas Buddha says this to people feeling remorseful about their past: there is no use worrying about the past you can't change. Focus on acting with skill going forward.
One of the most underappreciated techniques in Buddhism is weaving useful narratives. This is when you tell yourself a story about yourself in a way that induces and sustains the good states of mind. The story can't be a lie though! -- so before you can do it, you have to actually repent/reconcile/resolve to not let it happen again.
So the first step is to actually finalize the internal decision: what shall you do differently from now on. Then you should let some time pass to give you a chance to act in the new way. And then you can say hey, I have not committed the same mistake for such and such time, I think I am good now. Simple, right?
Check out the story about Angulimala and a Pregnant Woman. It illustrates this principle brilliantly.
Upvote:0
You have to practice maitreyi (loving-kindness) towards yourself. It's much easier for us to forgive others than it is for us to forgive ourselves. However, it's very important that we show loving kindness towards ourselves as well.
You should determine to not to make that mistake again. Regret is one of the five hindrances which prevents you from achieving nirvana, so practice loving kindness towards yourself and let go of the regret.
Look up the story of Angulimala. The following books by Ajahn Brahm are brilliant as well: Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond: A Meditator's Handbook, Opening the Door of Your Heart.
More post
- π 1. While wearing my new warm jacket, is it okay to kill animals for their fur?
- π Integration of Body and Mind
- π Can you quickly explain "everything is impermanent"
- π What else do people who have realized NirvΔαΉa do besides teach?
- π What is meant by the Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw in regards to "The Attainment of Fruition"?
- π A recovering drug addict's struggle with ignorance and Beginner's Mind
- π Therapeutic Effects of Masturbation
- π Did the Buddha have long ears?
- π Do Theravada monks search for reincarnation of teachers?
- π How would a Buddhist advise on this subset of problems of motivation?
- π Inter-relation between the four brahmaviharas?
- π Does a risk of death exist in the awakening process?
- π How to practice βIn the seen will be merely what is seenβ
- π Opposite of buddhism
- π Why should we worship statues of Lord Buddha?
- π VijΓ±Δna and ΕΕ«nyatΔ... How are they seen as different?
- π NiΓ nfΓ³ (εΏ΅δ½, nenbustu) & Morality
- π Where can I find video Dharma talks?
- π What was the motivation for the prohibition on eating onions and garlic?
- π Are people younger than 20 forbidden to ordain?
- π What is the role of karma in the wheel of becoming?
- π Can a monk live with a male lay person?
- π Do doctors waste their chance?
- π How does one accomplish a reality not governed by the mind when thought is required to function?
- π Is the reputation system counterproductive to Buddhist practice?
- π What's the difference between having a view and clinging to a view?
- π What are the differences between meritorious acts and wholesome acts?
- π Buddhism and terminal illness
- π Which Jatakas illustrate Viriya Paramita
- π Was Vipassana discovered by the Buddha (Siddhartha)?
Source: stackoverflow.com
Search Posts
Related post
- π How to handle contrition
- π How should Buddhists handle prayer requests?
- π How to deal with people and handle rude language?
- π Meditation, compassion: How to handle people who dominate you in the office?
- π How Does Buddhism Handle Internal Conflict
- π How do Buddhists handle mental illness such as depression or bipolar disorder?
- π How do you handle loud, meaningful family noises while trying to focus?
- π How do you handle when someone tries to instill guilt in you?
- π How to handle torpor?
- π How do handle termite/white ant
- π How do you handle a begar who want to stay in your temple?
- π How to handle aversion that derives from perceiving arrogance?
- π Need advice on how to handle my emotions
- π Guidance for how to handle stomach problems arising during Vipassana?
- π If there is no soul, how can there be rebirth?
- π How to explain what Buddhism is?
- π How does stream entry occur?
- π Lust - How Can it be Overcome?
- π How not to kill the mouse in my house?
- π How to determine the end of a meditation session without a clock?
- π How do Buddhists express condolences?
- π How can I assess the quality of a local Buddhist group?
- π How do you tell a 4-year-old who the Buddha was?
- π How is sexual misconduct explained in regards to the five precepts?
- π How to deal with bad past karma that makes my current life miserable?
- π As a Buddhist with a Muslim family, community, and background... how do you integrate/cope?
- π How concentrated is access concentration and how would one recognise it?
- π How are 'conceit' and 'identity-view' not the same?
- π If I start doing Vipassana now, how long will it take me to achieve Nirvana?
- π If anatta is a reality, then how do you explain Volition or Will?