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But what if someday I am with some guys, who are always drinking, and there is no pressure of insult?
I agree that friends (the company you keep) are important.
I think that doctrine is found in several suttas:
And through this line of reasoning one may know how admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life
'This body comes into being through conceit. And yet it is by relying on conceit that conceit is to be abandoned.' Thus was it said. And in reference to what was it said? There is the case, sister, where a monk hears, 'The monk named such-and-such, they say, through the ending of the fermentations, has entered & remains in the fermentation-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having known & realized them for himself in the here & now.' The thought occurs to him, 'The monk named such-and-such, they say, through the ending of the fermentations, has entered & remains in the fermentation-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having known & realized them for himself in the here & now. Then why not me?' Then he eventually abandons conceit, having relied on conceit. 'This body comes into being through conceit. And yet it is by relying on conceit that conceit is to be abandoned.' Thus was it said, and in reference to this was it said.
Sigalovada Sutta (read the whole sutta, not only this quote):
Young man, be aware of these four enemies disguised as friends: the taker, the talker, the flatterer, and the reckless companion.
- If one finds a sagacious friend, who is a virtuous and steadfast companion, one should live with him joyfully and mindfully, overcoming all dangers.
- If one cannot find a sagacious friend, who is a virtuous and steadfast companion, one should live alone like the king who gave up and left the country he had won, and like the elephant Matanga roaming alone in the forest.
- It is better to live alone; there is no fellowship with a fool. So one should live alone, do no evil, and be carefree like the elephant Matanga roaming alone in the forest.
Is observing the feeling of lust actually helping me to know more about it?
If I tell you to jump off a tall building I think there are two things you could do:
I think that "observation" is a bit like the second scenario -- it helps you to detach from the impulse ... and/or to experience the sensation (the sound or thought) without that forming much impulse to act.
What is the best way to change a bad habit? Someone told me to know the reason why I want to change it, but would that be enough?
Various ways include:
Also FYI the thought "Oh Come on, Don't be a child" sounds to me like it has some implicit/unstated assumptions or views: for example that, "Being a child is bad", and that, "Adults drink alcohol". Beware these implicit assumptions or arguments (and others) are not necessarily true -- it may be quite a common line of "reasoning" (argument) among teenagers or young adults, though.
Is there a difference between ego and conceit?
I think that English isn't the "native language" of Buddhist Dharma, and "conceit" is an English translation.
For longer explanations of what the word "conceit" means, see for example the answers to this question, How are 'conceit' and 'identity-view' not the same?
and does Bhikkhuni Sutta's Essence means to abandon conceit
I think that conceit includes comparing yourself to others, for example the following are both called forms of conceit:
I think the essence of the Bhikkhuni Sutta is that although conceit is to be abandoned finally, it can be a useful tool, a useful stage on the path.
For example the following is conceit:
That's conceit because it's comparing yourself; but it's useful because it gives you confidence or faith, and gives you a good example (and doesn't give you a bad example).
I also do not understand the impulse thing (Does impulse means the action one takes after sensation)
I'm not sure I do either.
See for example this page:
Intention, I tell you, is kamma. Intending, one does kamma by way of body, speech, & intellect.
And what is the cause by which kamma comes into play? Contact is the cause by which kamma comes into play.
I think that two examples of that are:
I see an apple. The thought occurs, "Supposing I were to eat the apple?" I decide (or accept the impulse) to eat it.
I look over the edge of a tall building. The thought occurs, "Supposing I were to jump off this building?" I decide not to (or refuse or ignore the impulse) to jump.
When the sutta says "Contact is the cause" perhaps that means for example "Seeing the apple" and "Being aware of the thought".
The "intentional action" is when I eat the apple and do so intentionally (knowing that it's an apple, having decided to eat it for some good or bad reason).
Many people say by smoking they are not harming anyone, so they do not have reason to quit, (even spiritual people say that)
I have observed there are people who say that, yes.
What I need to understand of this?
I think that these are people who are less likely to change that habit: because they say it isn't harmful.
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Buddha, in one sutta (I don't recall the name) suggests four ways to discard bad thoughts:
I'll include the sutta when I recall it.