How to regain Enlightenment?

Upvote:0

First thing you have to understand that enlightenment or awakening, as you have experienced is not a doing it is a happening. For e.g. in your story you didn't do any conscious effort it just happend to you, triggered by some deep releived state of your mind. The alcohol was not a direct trigger to it, may be it just functionaed as a catalyst in that moment when the time and conditions were right.

I would advise that don't resort to drinking alcohol, if anything it will sabotage any efforts of getting there.

From my undrrstanding of Buddhism in particular and life at large, I would say you had a good reserve of past life karma which gave you the glimpse of awakening. Now that you have understood that there is nothing like it and as you said 'I really will do anything to get back there' then have courage and do it. Do whatever it takes to get back there.

Yes the literature is astronomical but trust your intuition, trust your life, trust existance.

I would say taking prescribed dose of ritalin wont matter. Get in right frame of mind. But don't resort to alcohol.

Remember one very important thing, don't crave for that experience it will do only suffering. If at all anything try to forget that you had it in the first place.

I dont know where are you but try spending some time in a Buddhist temple or a Zen monastry.

At your point, from buddhist point of view, I would suggest you read Ajahn Brahms book, 'Mindfulness bliss and beyond' thats it, no other book is required. To follow those instructions you don't even have to believe in anything.

You will learn to enter Jhnanas and from there back to the La-La land where you been.

Also if possible try to attend Ajahn Brahm's retreat, thats one man I know of, will get you back there.

Hope this makes sense.

God Speed.

Upvote:1

It sounds like you had some kind of realization! Rejoice!

Now let it go. That's the only way to continue on the path.

Reflect on the moments leading up to where you, "ceased being aware of signs of a heart attack" and, "felt slightly better and less like I was dying." How did those moments feel? Did they feel something like:

  • "I want nothing else but to," ... stop feeling this heart attack and to stop dying.
  • Were you, "scared that now that I've lost" my life and, "will not get it back"?
  • Did it feel like those moments where you felt like you were dying "totally possessed" you?
  • Would you have done, "anything to get back" your life?

You say that, "my awakening appeared to me not from 'dying' but from the relief of not dying." Is this true? Are you sure? Or did you give up at some point and let go to the inevitability of your dying? Did you give up the struggle to stay alive? And then discovered you were not dying after all ... and attributed the euphoria you felt to the not dying rather than that state of having given up?

Those quotes in the list above are from how you currently describe your mental state. How does your current predicament of wanting to get back to your euphoria so much that you'd "do anything" compare to your past predicament of wanting not to die? How are they different?

I'm just a Buddhist patzer, but I hope this advice helps: analyze in detail those moments before you had this euphoric experience and analyze your moments now. And just let go of this realization you've had. Develop your wisdom and your compassion for other sentient beings. Continue on the path. Slowly, slowly.

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