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You have to 1st have a shift of paradigm in your thinking. This might help. The paradigm shift you need to experience is that anything external cannot really hurt you unless you hurt your self in reaction to and external input. What hurts you happen from within.
In addition to this keep in mind the environment for sensory input in conditioned by past fabrications and our natural tendency is that we consider this positive and negative. A source of misery is this classification by our perception in the 1st place.
Let's loot at the process where you actually get hurt.
1st you recognise and perceive such thing has append. Then there is a mental reaction to such mental imprint. This causes a sensation either pleasant or unpleasant. Do cut off this experience of pleasantness or unpleasantness may be a bit far off but there is a nearer solution.
When you experience the initial sensation this brings up more memories and thoughts which compound either to intensify or reduce the intensity of the sensation. Initially you can address this issue.
How to address this is that 1st you experience a sensation you react with craving and aversion. Try your best to keep your mind equanimous. This will gradually reduce the potential proliferation with practice. Then you can look at distracting yourself from the cause. Generally it would be a good idea to look at your breath. You will see that it has become hard. Wait till it to become normal. If it is aversion do some Metta, if it is lustful imagine if body parts were separate will you still perceive the person as beautiful, etc.
To drive out ignorance which is the root cause of misery, look at the sensation closely. Where is it the most intense, when you start from a bounty of the sensation what direction, it is intense, try dividing the areas of the sensation into smaller parts and look at the smaller areas. Look at changes in it and how its looses intensity and pass away. As you practice you should try to see it as more finer and finer levels until you see this at the level or arising and passing of Kalapa. Also also try to realise how it originates, i.e., some contact of the other. Be mindful of all contacts without reaction or craving and clinging being absolutely mindful or arising and passing of phenomena within the framework of the 4 foundations of mindfulness.
At the utmost level how this happens if when you get any sense input from the environment you piece together a picture to which you react. Once you see, hear or scene something, this alone causes a mild sensation. Piecing together the picture and reacting causes a larger sensation. With practice you can cut off the second reaction.
Last but not least, you can work yourself to cut out future unpleasant experiences from within and the environment. Even experiences we call pleasant are not that satisfactory as they do not last and we cannot control them. Your environment is created by fabrication of the past. At this moment by reacting you are creating fabrication for the future. There are 2 things you have to do. 1) Drive out ignorance (glossed over before) and understand the 4 Noble Truths and Dependent Origination 2) Stop putting more fuel experience future unpleasantness. The strategy to do this is in the light of sensations:
Upvote:2
I think you will end up getting better answers to your question. But I'll answer what I can. :)
It truly is exhausting to be in a mind state of continually judging every experience and every facet of life as positive or negative and trying to continually change things to be as you would have them. One of the reasons people come to mediation is because they realize they can't change the world and they want to learn to live in the world in a way that causes less suffering for themselves and others.
Meditation is something an individual does but because of the way it changes the individual; it also changes things in the individual's world. Spending time in meditation can help a meditator to become very aware of things they are doing which are causing suffering for themselves and others. It can help one to realize that suffering comes internally by identifying things as me and mine and trying desperately to prop up that fragile ego of me and mine.
The relief of learning to loosen the grip of needing to have everything under your control and everything to your liking is tremendous. I don't think it can be properly explained; it's something that needs to be experienced.
If you are concerned that meditating will make you indifferent to the needs of others, I can only say that because you are, examining your own mind when you meditate, you really can't hide anything from yourself. So if you are doing something that causes suffering to others, it'll be clear and you won't want to continue.