Panic arising during contemplation about 4 elements

Upvote:1

I cannot give you an exact answer to what happened, but it seems like you've had a moment of "seeing yourself as you really are" (in the words of the 14th Dalai Lama). The acute experience of seeing oneself as detached and naked is bound very closely to the experience of existential anxiety, the "just-is-ness" of being in the world, that phenomenology and existentialism speaks about. They call it "being there".

I've had the same experience and after some reflection and repetition it can be very helpful indeed. I've also found that seeing the "compositeness" of oneself and one's body gives you a more realistic and irreconcilable view of your existential situation.

If you want to go more systematically forward with these kinds of trainings, I recommend trying the exercises described in the book "The Direct Path: A User Guide" by Greg Goode, a non dual inquiry into direct experience, both of your own body, thoughts, feelings and the external world. Goode is definitely and directly inspired by the Buddha.

Upvote:2

Very good, Tealine, don't be scared and try to find that point again and investigate more. In regard of terror, samvega is less introduced, but the main source nad drive for the effort to walk the path to awakening. This essay might be useful: Affirming the Truths of the Heart-The Buddhist Teachings on Samvega & Pasada as well as Body Contemplation A Study Guide

Although early Buddhism is widely believed to take a negative attitude toward the body, the texts of the Pali canon do not support this belief. They approach the body both in its positive role, as an object of meditation to develop mindfulness, concentration, and the mental powers based on concentration; and in its negative role as an object for unskillful states of mind. Even in its negative role, the body is not the culprit: the problem is the mind's attachment to the body. Once the body can be used in its positive role, to develop mindfulness and concentration, those mental qualities can be used to free the mind of its attachments to the body. Then, as many a modern meditation master has noted, the mind and body can live in peace.

Upvote:6

Most of the time people live most of their lives without changing contexts too much. For the mind, living in the same context gives a sense of security. It also makes us dumb and highly vulnerable. Once we believe in a context and objectify it, it becomes reality for us. At the end of the day, this is why we die.

When you start playing with your context by adopting a different perspective (mode) of seeing things, you are getting into an unknown territory - unknown for your mind anyway. Naturally, there is a sense of panic.

What Buddhism teaches us is freedom from any context. Doing what you did is a first step. It's not necessarily valuable in and off itself - but it gives you a glimpse at how your mind reacts to its attachments being challenged.

Upvote:6

The terror is likely caused by the clinging to wrong view of the self.

Who was the unknown species? Why did it look so strange? Was it because you, like everybody, already greatly cling to an idea of what you are and this new mindful approach to experiencing what you are, can show you something that is real but alien to your normal way of experiencing yourself?

So if I understand what you are saying, the terror happens because you have the wrong idea or wrong view that you are dying or being wiped from existence when really it is just a different way of perceiving reality.

These kinds of experiences are common with insight practice. Sounds like your practice is going in the right direction towards dropping the wrong view of self.

Remember that nothing is permanent like these terrorizing experiences.

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