Should my non-American girlfriend mention her American boyfriend when applying for a visa?

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Should she volunteer that her boyfriend is American and she wants to visit his family (if she's not asked directly about that), or is that likely to be seen as an red flag for intent to immigrate?

She should not volunteer this information, but when asked (as one usually is) what do you plan on doing during your trip - she should be truthful.

Sometimes, you are also asked if you have any family members in the US - of course this should be answered in the negative and not with a no, but my boyfriend who is a US citizen has.

Should she just say she's coming for tourism (unless asked directly, of course)?

Even if not asked directly, the purpose of her requesting a visa is for tourism, which includes "visiting friends and family". So her saying she's coming for tourism wouldn't be a lie, in fact, it would be the purpose of the trip and the reason for applying for the visa in the first place.

Usually the first question asked by the officer will be "what is the purpose of your trip?". The answer here is tourism, something like "tourism and visiting friends".

She has a high paying job but she just started a new job a month ago. Should she wait a few months before applying for the visa so that she can show that she has several months of pay slips, or does that not matter?

It would only matter if there was a significant, material change in her income, or she doesn't have evidence of payslips from her previous job. Otherwise as long as she has permission from her work, and a letter of employment, sufficient savings for the costs of her trip, then she doesn't need to wait for an arbitrary number of payslips.

Is there anything I can do as an American citizen to help her visa application process, or should I just stay out of it? Is there anything my family in the US can do (like sending a letter of sponsorship or something like that)?

She would be judged on her own merits and likelihood of her returning back (not being a de-facto immigrant), even if the sponsorship letter were there or you would have tried to help.

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