Should Christians marry non-Christians?

score:10

Accepted answer

No, there are no reasons that would make this a good idea.

In the Old Testament we see an explicit prohibition on people inside God's chosen people marrying those outside of it on the grounds that it would cause them to turn away from serving their God.

Deuteronomy 7:3-4 (ESV)
3  You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, 4  for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.

We see no change brought to this concept in the New Testament, however it should be noted that the outlook on "nations" is a little different now than it used to be.

Originally, it was primarily to the nation of Israel to whom God extended the offer of grace and salvation. There were some exceptional cases where outsiders were brought into that covenant, but the marriage restrictions were indicative of the fact that national lines were also belief lines.

With the actual coming of Christ, the floodgates are opened in a new way and gentiles are grafted into the people of the promise. The national boundaries are no longer important because they do not symbolize a difference in reception of God's grace. The terminology is now to be understood in light of the spiritual family of those that have been called by God.

Marrying outside of (and becoming one with) someone outside of God's family WILL cause a rift in your fellowship with God.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)
14  Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Upvote:-4

Marrying a person who does not believe in God is not against the sculpture. The good answer can be found in second commandment (see Matthew 22:37-40):

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself'.

According to this the man/hunsband is 'the neighbor'.

Upvote:1

There's a beautiful explanation here by John Piper

Paraphrasing, the issue boils down to the following:

  • how can a Christian, who believes Christ is Lord, spend their life with someone who denies Christ is Lord?

  • this person views their potential spouse as more important than Christ

As such, this is a terrible terrible idea.

Upvote:4

This is based on the comments on Caleb's answer, rather than the original question, but still somewhat applies to the original question.

I agree completely with Caleb's answer, but would add this:

Ideally, you'd want to marry someone who has the same beliefs as you, and someone who's close to where you are on the scale of spiritual vs. carnal.

I thank God every day that I did this. I have close personal friends that have a lot of stress in their households that I don't have to deal with simply because of a discrepancy between husband and wife on what they believe to be truth.

It's hard enough for, say, a Baptist to be married to a Catholic - or a Lutheran to marry a LDS member - or a Young-Earth Creationist (denomination not important) married to a Secular Humanist. There are enough doctrinal differences between some of the denominations - things that each denomination teaches/views differently - that it can be a real contention point. Arguments over how we are to live our day-to-day lives are more likely. Our actions and worldview is so intricately tied with how we see God that it's simply inevitable.

Once kids enter the picture, it's a whole new ball game. Who gets to teach the kids what? And if one spouse thinks the other is leading the kids into error, and possibly Hell, that's simply a no-win situation.

The other thing I've seen that has torn marriages apart is when one spouse is very faithful, very spiritual, and the other is more worldly. One tends to think the other is a religious nut-job, while the other things their partner is either not saved in the first place, or just not living the way he/she should. Even with the same basic doctrinal beliefs, a discrepancy in how strongly those beliefs affect day-to-day living can cause issues.

Being equally yoked is very good advice. Being unequally yoked is simply not a recipe for a harmonious home.

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